Blog

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Sharp, profane, and protected speech. If you think locking humans in gator cages, jailing people for burning flags, or militarizing your own country against phantom threats is “freedom,” you may be suffering from advanced patriotism poisoning. Consult a doctor—or better yet, a civics teacher.

You hear that?

That’s the sound of Alligator Alcatraz getting shut down.

A goddamn prison camp in the middle of the Everglades, where people were crammed in chicken wire...

SATIRICAL DISCLAIMER:

The following is a fictional stage rant in the voice of George Carlin. It’s mean, it’s sweary, and it’s unfair — because fairness is for people, and these bureaucratic barnacles are not people. They’re bad software running on hate hardware.

You ever notice how fascists hate “Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion”?

They foam at the mouth about it. Say it’s un-American. But the minute they get a chance? They write their own version. It’s still DEI — only now it stands for ...

SATIRE DISCLAIMER: This ain’t policy analysis, folks — this is stand-up with teeth. We’re not laughing with ‘em. We’re laughing at ‘em.

IMPORT TAX, EXPORT GRAFT: THE BILLIONAIRE TARIFF TOUR

(Brought to you by the Felon of the United States — because graft this good should have a residency in Vegas)

Alright, folks, let’s talk about tariffs. Yeah, tariffs. You know — that little trick where they tell you they’re stickin’ it to China, but somehow the bill keeps showing up in your mailbox.

Tariffs...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Angry, profane, legally shielded by the First Amendment, and fueled by the sweet nectar of authoritarian face-plants. If you’re allergic to schadenfreude, duck and cover, because today the tangerine tyrant and his Florida lapdog got kneecapped by karma.

What a goddamn day.

First, Florida. Ron DeSantis, the pint-sized dictator cosplayer, decided that the best way to honor the 49 murdered at Pulse nightclub was to… erase their rainbow crosswalk. Painted over....

Two versions today, folks, because this latest fuckery deserves it!

SNARKY LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

This is satire. A George Carlin–style rant dipped in acid and wrapped in barbed wire. It ain’t polite, it ain’t family-friendly, and if you’re the kind of person who thinks fascism comes with a friendly customer service line, you’re about to be very, very uncomfortable.

Florida just pulled the pin on a hand grenade and tossed it straight into the laps of kids with disabilities. No more diplomas for them...

Satire, folks. We’re not condemning Israel as a state, the Jewish people, or the idea that Arabs and Jews can be neighbors without shooting each other. We’re condemning two corrupt political fossils—Netanyahu and Trump—and pointing out that lasting peace is impossible if Palestinians keep letting Hamas run their lives like a death cult.

You ever watch two guys who should be in prison start talking like they’re divvying up beachfront property?

Bibi’s out here floating his plan to occupy Gaza—...

SNARKY LEGAL DISCLAIMER

This rant is satire, parody, and pure George Carlin energy. It’s political commentary dipped in acid and flung at the walls of hypocrisy. If you think “justice” under Donald Trump is fair, balanced, or even fucking coherent—strap in. Everyone else: keep your hands and feet inside the outrage rollercoaster until the ride has come to a full stop.

So here we are, kids. The MAGA Ministry of Justice is open for business, and Lady Justice didn’t just take off the blindfold—...

FULL-BLAST GEORGE STYLE RANT

No flowery intros. No soft landing. If you think a county clerk sneaking someone into a voting machine room is heroic, you’re about to face-palm so hard you'll mess up your glasses. Here’s Tina Peters’ story—and the clown caravan rallying behind her.

Let’s get this straight:

Tina Peters, ex-election clerk in sunny Mesa County, Colorado, broke into election machines, handed the data to conspiracy freaks, and threw our democracy under the bus to prove the 2020...

SATIRE WARNING

This is George Carlin–style heat—no civility, no soft edges. If you think history is just a memory game, or "reconstruction" is a costume party, you’re in the wrong channel. But if you want someone to punch fascism in its soft spot—welcome.

Let’s talk about Trump and that “Smithsonian’s teaching too much about slavery” meltdown. That’s not just white supremacy—it’s an ideological autopsy. It’s race denialism dressed up in patriotism so cheap you can feel it peeling off by...

SATIRE WARNING:

This isn’t financial advice. This is George Carlin–style financial heresy—profanity, mockery, and a hard slap to anyone who thinks crypto in your 401(k) is a “freedom dividend.” If you’re ready to YOLO your retirement into a meme coin named after a dog, prepare to be roasted.

So the Felon of the United States—yes, that orange kleptocrat in a red tie—just decided your retirement savings should be a playground for every speculative fever dream that Wall Street and the crypto...

SATIRE WARNING:

This is not an NBC primetime preview of the 2028 Olympics. This is a George Carlin–style rant, which means sarcasm, profanity, and zero respect for dictators who think the Olympic torch is a branding opportunity. If you came for “inspiring moments of unity,” you’re in the wrong stadium.

So here we are, folks—L.A. 2028. You thought the Olympics were going to be a celebration of sport, unity, and that weird techno music they play during medal ceremonies? Wrong.

The Felon of the...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER: This rant is certified 100% Carlin-esque, GMO-free, gluten-packed, and guaranteed to piss off billionaires who think a “subscription model” is the same thing as an economy. If you think ownership is overrated and landlords are just misunderstood philanthropists, strap in. This one’s for you.

So, Volkswagen’s got a new trick.

You buy a car. You pay full price. You sign papers, shake hands, drive it off the lot—and guess what? You don’t actually own the horsepower. Nope. That’...

SATIRE ALERT: This is not a balanced trade analysis.

It’s a George Carlin–style roast of America’s latest economic self-immolation. If you think tariffs are magic patriot taxes that punish foreigners while you sip domestic beer and watch the Dow rise, prepare for disappointment—and profanity.

Well folks, it’s official: we’re living in the world’s dumbest episode of Shark Tank, and Trade War Barbie just got her own spin-off.

Donald Trump has done it again.

New tariffs. Everywhere. On everything....

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

If you think elections are only “rigged” when your guy loses, if you believe Sharpies are secure but scanners are suspect, or if your idea of democracy involves screaming at voting machines until Fox News pays another settlement—sit down. The rest of you? Time to talk about the toddler-in-chief trying to ban the toys he keeps losing with.

Trump’s at it again. This morning’s post: Ban the machines! Not the slot machines, not the claw machines at Chuck E. Cheese—no, the voting...

Oh, sweethearts, pull up a chair because this one’s a triple threat. I’m Kendra, and today we’re talking with an author who doesn’t just wear different hats—she’s got an entire coat rack.

Under her own name, Desirae Gracyn, she’s a pediatric nurse by day and a spinner of fantastical, neurodivergent-filled worlds by night. (Because fairies need therapy too, thank you very much.) Her work has popped up everywhere from Houston Writers Guild Anthology to Micromance Magazine, stretching across...

SATIRE WARNING: This ain’t a civics lesson—it’s a George Carlin–style rant.

That means sarcasm, swearing, and a total lack of reverence for tyrants in red ties. If you think gerrymandering is a patriotic pastime and censuses should come with purity tests, this is gonna sting like a truth enema. Everyone else? Buckle the fuck in.

You ever watch someone cheat at Monopoly, get caught, and then set the board on fire?

That’s the modern Republican Party.

We are way past “rig the rules.”

We are at “if...

SATIRE ALERT: This is a George Carlin–style rant.

That means sarcasm, swearing, and zero tolerance for bullshit. If you think vaccines are a conspiracy, buckle up—this one’s got your name on it, misspelled on purpose.

So let me get this straight.

We finally invent the science to punch HIV in the dick, blindside cancer, outmaneuver COVID, and maybe—just maybe—prevent the next pandemic from eating our lungs with a spoon…

And Robert Fucking Kennedy Jr. looks at that miracle of modern science and...

SATIRE ALERT: Carlin-style rant incoming.

Warning: Contains politically charged sarcasm, profanity, and unapologetic truth. If you're allergic to common sense or think semiconductors are a breakfast cereal, this might sting.

Oh look. It’s another episode of “Donald Trump Plays CEO of Everything.”

Today’s victim? Intel.

Today’s crime? Hiring a guy who knows how global business works.

So here’s the plot twist of the week:

President Trump—yes, still somehow the guy with the nuclear codes—just told ...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

The following rant is brought to you by the Ghost of George Carlin, the Spirit of the First Amendment, and the rapidly deteriorating concept of common sense. We’re not attacking Israel, Ukraine, or the American people—hell, we’re not even attacking the state of Alaska. We are going after the bloated, gold-plated stupidity of politicians who treat foreign policy like an episode of Celebrity Apprentice: Nuclear Edition. If you think this is about you personally…...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This satirical takedown addresses public policy, court decisions, and constitutional rights. It does not assert any criminal wrongdoing except according to rulings already made. If you think the 14th Amendment is a suggestion, or that an ex-president can pick and choose your civil rights—maybe start with a civics class and end with a mirror.

So the Felon of the United States—FOTUS for short—signed Executive Order 14160 on Day One of his second term, declaring: “No birthright...