The observation that contemporary literature often features protagonists from either end of the socioeconomic spectrum—the struggling lower class or the extremely wealthy—raises...

In an unprecedented move that blurs the lines between science fiction and reality television, acclaimed author Adam Gaffen has announced that his bestselling series, The Cassidy...

The Tiny Slice of "Not Dying": How Useless Most of the Temperature Scale Is

Temperature is one of those things we think we understand because we complain about it constantly. “...

SATIRE DISCLAIMER (NOW WITH EXTRA TIRED SPINES)

This is stand-up satire, not gardening advice. If you think leveling legacy and turning public spaces into private bragging rights is leadership, good luck with your evening tea party on asphalt.

So here’s what happened—

They ripped out Jackie Kennedy’s historic Rose Garden lawn, bulldozed it, and turned it into a flashy, flat concrete patio.

Why? Because high heels and wet grass apparently offend Trump more than rubbing out history does. And don’...

SATIRE DISCLAIMER—NOW WITH EXTRA JUDICIAL TEETH

This is stand-up satire in George Carlin’s snarling voice—truth bombs, profanity, and post‑9/11 New York attitude. If you can’t handle that, maybe don’t keep reading.

So MAGA sees Zohran Mamdani win because New Yorkers said “fuck your establishment bros.”

They lost their goddamn minds, calling it a “9/11 threat,” brandishing Mamdani’s Muslim identity like he’s about to light the skyline on fire.

Loomer, Kirk, Stefanik, Cruz—they’re preaching fear...

SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Now With 100% More Deportation Whiplash)

This is a fictional rant in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin. If you think pulling over 19-year-old scholarship students and handing them to ICE is “law and order,” you might be suffering from a severe case of authoritarian bootlicking. Consult your conscience. Side effects may include rage, empathy, and the sudden urge to vote like people’s lives depend on it. Because they do.

So let me get this straight.

FOTUS goes on...