Blog

If you’ve been following my work for a while, you already know I’m not exactly shy about my opinions. I don’t tuck them under the bed or hide them behind a stack of author copies. They’re out in the open, arms crossed, tapping their foot, daring anyone to pretend the world isn’t on fire.

But this site — my author home on the internet — is meant to be a space for storytelling. Worldbuilding. Character chaos. Updates from the Cassidyverse as new books, novellas, and harebrained projects come to...

DISCLAIMER: This is satire. A joke. A performance. A George-Carlin-channeling literary exorcism aimed at public policy, not private citizens. If you find yourself offended, please consult a physician to see whether your sense of humor has been deregulated along with the nation’s fuel economy standards.

Ladies, gentlemen, gearheads, suburban warlords, and the three remaining engineers at NHTSA who haven't yet resigned in despair…

Gather ‘round. Because the President of the United States went to...

SATIRE WARNING: NOW WITH 120 DAYS OF NONSTOP PROFANITY! This is George Carlin–style political commentary. It contains truth, vulgarity, constitutional literacy, and a deep sense of “what the actual hell?” If you believe Alina Habba should be a federal prosecutor because she once yelled at a judge on TV, please close this tab and go reread the Constitution — slowly — with adult supervision.

Ladies, gentlemen, patriots, and those desperately Googling “Can a president legally appoint his...

SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Now With Unlimited Talk, Text, and Bullshit): This is political comedy. It is loud, rude, and 5G-enabled for maximum sarcasm coverage. If you think Donald Trump is actually building a smartphone in America, you’re already in danger of dropping below 3 IQ bars. Consult your doctor before purchasing any product described as “Made in the USA” by a man whose signature business model is lying with gold trim.

Ladies and gentlemen…patriots…suckers…and people who purchased crypto...

SATIRE, PROFANITY & GOVERNMENTAL HYPOCRISY AHEAD — THE “PLEASE DON’T SUE US, WE’RE JUST HOLDING UP A MIRROR” CLAUSE: This is political commentary, comedy, catharsis, and loud theatrical hollering. It’s not legal advice, immigration counsel, genealogy analysis, or a fucking family therapy session. Any resemblance to real policies, real incompetence, or real cruelty is fully intentional, because we’re talking about the FOTUS administration, and that’s the only language they understand.

...

SATIRE, PROFANITY & HISTORICAL WHIPLASH AHEAD — THE “DON’T SUE ME, I’M JUST SHOUTING INTO THE VOID” CLAUSE: The following is political and cultural commentary. It is not investment advice, psychological counseling, HOA legal guidance, or a real estate disclosure form. Any resemblance to your neighborhood, your neighbors, your mortgage, or your illusion of upward mobility is absolutely intentional. If someone takes offense, tell them it’s parody; if they still complain, tell them to mow...

SATIRE DISCLAIMER: The following performance contains professional-grade profanity, precision-engineered contempt, and excessive amounts of political ridicule. Nothing here is literal legal advice, medical guidance, immigration criteria, or an endorsement of RFK Jr.’s “poetry.” Viewer discretion advised unless you were on Twitter during 2017–2021, in which case you’ve already seen worse.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to America — the world’s first country to combine immigration law, medical...

SATIRE DISCLAIMER: Professional outrage incoming. Explicit language, no footnotes, no apologies. All characters in this performance are real; the absurdity is not exaggerated.

You ever watch the justice system try to pretend it’s competent? Oh, sweetheart, pull up a chair, because this week it face-planted so hard it left a crater.

So here’s what happened: They brought these big, dramatic, fireworks-and-flag-waving indictments against James Comey and Letitia James — you know, the two names...

DISCLAIMER: Professional rage incoming. Explicit language, zero citations, maximum heresy against authoritarian bullshit. If you’re allergic to profanity, cruelty, or the truth, now’s the time to leave the theater.

Let’s talk about the latest masterclass in governmental sociopathy from the people currently playing Mad Libs with human lives down at ICE.

A transgender woman — Britania Uriostegui Rios — gets deported to Mexico by accident, according to the same federal agency that can track a...

Disclaimer: This is satire. This is comedy. This is righteous profanity with a purpose. If you clutch pearls, please return them to the Victorian museum you stole them from.

Ladies and gentlemen, gather up. Bring popcorn. Bring a mop.

Because we are about to witness the most pathetic display of authoritarian cosplay since the last time FOTUS opened his mouth and words fell out like wet laundry.

Two stories this week — TWO — and every one of them screams the same thing: This guy wants to be a...

(SATIRICAL DISCLAIMER: This is a work of political outrage and protected opinion. No citations. No bullet points. No apologies. If you want something gentle, go read Robert Frost.)

Ladies and gentlemen, congregants of the Church of Shared Exasperation, let’s revisit one of George Carlin’s most enduring insights about humanity:

“People are stupid, people are full of shit, and people are fucking nuts.”

Most folks luck out with just one.

Dan Quayle? He famously hit the trifecta—a full house of...

LEGAL-ISH WARNING FOR THE DELICATE & LITIGIOUS Professional profanity incoming. Zero citations, zero bullet points, zero apologies. Outrage calibrated to George-Carlin-at-the-end-of-his-rope levels. If you’re allergic to honesty, satire, or the sound of your own party being held accountable, now’s the time to evacuate your bowels and your browser.

Let’s get something straight right from the jump: These rants are not anti-Republican.

They’re not pro-Democrat.

They’re not partisan,...

DISLCAIMER (THE BIG ANGRY KIND): Professional outrage ahead. This is satire, not legal advice. No citations, no footnotes, no soothing charts. Profanity deployed with intent to harm. If you’re allergic to yelling, hypocrisy exposure, or watching tyrants get pantsed by federal judges, turn back now.

Welcome to November in America, where pumpkin spice is in the air, leaves are crunching underfoot, and the courts are kicking FOTUS in the ass like it’s a national pastime.

I swear, this...

DISLCAIMER: This rant contains profanity, sacrilege, outrage, and biting political commentary—none of which should be mistaken for legal advice, financial guidance, or polite dinner conversation. If you're allergic to f-bombs, economic reality, or the truth, you should leave now before something ruptures.

You know, when I was a kid—George-time, 1940s, post-war New York—a penny meant something. A penny bought gum. A penny bought your dignity back after getting your ass kicked at stickball. A...

GEORGE-LEVEL WARNING LABEL

Tonight’s program contains explicit language, unconstitutional indignation, and enough outrage to set off a 1776 reenactment. If you are allergic to profanity, facts wrapped in jokes, or the idea that the government should NOT have your face, fingerprints, AND your genome because you happened to stop at a red light — turn back now. Everyone else: buckle up. We’re going full Founding-Father-meltdown.

THE BIOMETRIC POLICE STATE — NOW WITH MORE GASLIGHT

You ever...

SATIRE WARNING: NOW WITH MORE PROFANITY THAN A MILITARY GROUP CHAT: This is a fictional rant in the voice of George Carlin. If you find yourself defending any of the behavior described here, please consult your doctor to determine whether you’ve recently ingested lead paint, fascist propaganda, or both. Side effects may include confusion, denial, and uncontrollable urges to say “well actually” in Facebook comment sections.

Ladies, gentlemen, citizens, immigrants...

DISCLAIMER: Professional rage ahead. Viewer discretion advised for hypocrisy allergies, constitutional whiplash, and acute exposure to bullshit. This rant contains no citations, no footnotes, no apologies, and absolutely no patience for performative outrage by people who wiped their asses with the Voting Rights Act last Tuesday.

You want to know what selective outrage looks like? Here it is, wearing a flag pin and a smirk, filing a lawsuit in California because—gasp!—the Democrats finally...

Disclaimer: Professional outrage ahead. Explicit language, economic heresy, and a full-frontal assault on hypocrisy. Do not read while operating heavy machinery, handling your last $5, or shopping at Walmart. Side effects may include laughter, fury, and the uncontrollable urge to yeet a peanut butter jar through your TV screen.

So there I am, in the grocery store, staring at the peanut butter aisle like it’s a crime scene. Once upon a time—say, last year—a “standard” jar was 18 ounces....

DISCLAIMER: Professional satire ahead. Contains foul language, foul play, and the faint aroma of spray-tan and desperation. If you think Donald Trump ever won a football game—financially, ethically, or spiritually—you might want to sit this one out. This rant includes unsportsmanlike conduct, excessive branding, and too many flags for bullshit.

You ever notice how Donald Trump can fail at literally anything and still find a way to slap his name on it like it’s a participation trophy?

Hotels,...

Disclaimer: CONTENT WARNING: FINANCIAL PROFANITY AHEAD.

Contains graphic descriptions of late-stage capitalism, math-induced despair, and language unsuitable for mortgage bankers, hedge fund managers, or anyone who thinks “equity” is a synonym for “fairness.” If you’re still clinging to the fantasy that a 50-year mortgage makes homeownership “accessible,” pour yourself something strong. You’re about to find out what “eternal debt” really means.

You ever notice how every time the rich break...