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FULL FUCKING CARLIN MODE

This ain’t polite commentary. This ain’t a history podcast. This is the raw sewage truth, piped straight from the golden toilet of fascism into your morning coffee. If you clutch pearls at vulgarity, cover your ears now—because this is democracy with brass knuckles.

Here’s the scam:

ICE and DHS are digging through 55 million visas, looking for excuses to deport people. Not because they’re dangerous. Not because they’re criminals. But because every single one of those...

SNARKY LEGAL DISCLAIMER

This is satire, loud and profane, protected by what’s left of the First Amendment. If you still think “other countries pay our tariffs,” you may be entitled to financial compensation—from yourself.

Alright, Jimmy MAGA, gather ‘round. Here’s the trick: they slap a tariff on imports, the importer pays it at the port, then every link in the chain marks it up like a church bake sale run by loan sharks. By the time it hits your cart, it’s a national sales tax dressed like a...

SNARKY LEGAL DISCLAIMER

This is satire. This is rage. This is George Carlin channeled through the sewer pipe of American fascism. If you’re looking for polite NPR commentary, change the channel. This is for people who know the smell of bullshit when it’s smeared across the Constitution.

You hear that sound?

That’s not liberty ringing. That’s ICE jackboots stomping on necks while the brass section plays Stars and Stripes Forever in a minor fucking key.

Let’s take a stroll through their Hall of...

Satire Disclaimer:

This is political and technological satire in the style of George Carlin. The following is a fictional comedy routine. If you think I’m personally insulting your favorite video chat platform, your CEO, or your grandma’s Zoom skills — you’re correct, but it’s still a joke.

You know, I’ve been watching “human communication” evolve for over a century.

First we had the telegraph — short, snappy, and expensive. “Stop.” You didn’t ramble over a telegraph. You sent, “War’s over....

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire, George Carlin–style. It’s profane, it’s furious, and it’s legally protected under what’s left of the First Amendment. If you think “concentration camp” is just a spicy synonym for “temporary housing facility,” you might want to leave the room before I start throwing chairs.

What the fuck, America?

Seriously—what the actual fuck?

We did this already. World War II. Japanese internment. Round up families. Ship ‘em off. Tell ‘em it’s “for their safety.” Lock ‘em...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Sharp, profane, and protected speech. If you think locking humans in gator cages, jailing people for burning flags, or militarizing your own country against phantom threats is “freedom,” you may be suffering from advanced patriotism poisoning. Consult a doctor—or better yet, a civics teacher.

You hear that?

That’s the sound of Alligator Alcatraz getting shut down.

A goddamn prison camp in the middle of the Everglades, where people were crammed in chicken wire...

SATIRICAL DISCLAIMER:

The following is a fictional stage rant in the voice of George Carlin. It’s mean, it’s sweary, and it’s unfair — because fairness is for people, and these bureaucratic barnacles are not people. They’re bad software running on hate hardware.

You ever notice how fascists hate “Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion”?

They foam at the mouth about it. Say it’s un-American. But the minute they get a chance? They write their own version. It’s still DEI — only now it stands for ...

SATIRE DISCLAIMER: This ain’t policy analysis, folks — this is stand-up with teeth. We’re not laughing with ‘em. We’re laughing at ‘em.

IMPORT TAX, EXPORT GRAFT: THE BILLIONAIRE TARIFF TOUR

(Brought to you by the Felon of the United States — because graft this good should have a residency in Vegas)

Alright, folks, let’s talk about tariffs. Yeah, tariffs. You know — that little trick where they tell you they’re stickin’ it to China, but somehow the bill keeps showing up in your mailbox.

Tariffs...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Angry, profane, legally shielded by the First Amendment, and fueled by the sweet nectar of authoritarian face-plants. If you’re allergic to schadenfreude, duck and cover, because today the tangerine tyrant and his Florida lapdog got kneecapped by karma.

What a goddamn day.

First, Florida. Ron DeSantis, the pint-sized dictator cosplayer, decided that the best way to honor the 49 murdered at Pulse nightclub was to… erase their rainbow crosswalk. Painted over....

Two versions today, folks, because this latest fuckery deserves it!

SNARKY LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

This is satire. A George Carlin–style rant dipped in acid and wrapped in barbed wire. It ain’t polite, it ain’t family-friendly, and if you’re the kind of person who thinks fascism comes with a friendly customer service line, you’re about to be very, very uncomfortable.

Florida just pulled the pin on a hand grenade and tossed it straight into the laps of kids with disabilities. No more diplomas for them...

Satire, folks. We’re not condemning Israel as a state, the Jewish people, or the idea that Arabs and Jews can be neighbors without shooting each other. We’re condemning two corrupt political fossils—Netanyahu and Trump—and pointing out that lasting peace is impossible if Palestinians keep letting Hamas run their lives like a death cult.

You ever watch two guys who should be in prison start talking like they’re divvying up beachfront property?

Bibi’s out here floating his plan to occupy Gaza—...

SNARKY LEGAL DISCLAIMER

This rant is satire, parody, and pure George Carlin energy. It’s political commentary dipped in acid and flung at the walls of hypocrisy. If you think “justice” under Donald Trump is fair, balanced, or even fucking coherent—strap in. Everyone else: keep your hands and feet inside the outrage rollercoaster until the ride has come to a full stop.

So here we are, kids. The MAGA Ministry of Justice is open for business, and Lady Justice didn’t just take off the blindfold—...

FULL-BLAST GEORGE STYLE RANT

No flowery intros. No soft landing. If you think a county clerk sneaking someone into a voting machine room is heroic, you’re about to face-palm so hard you'll mess up your glasses. Here’s Tina Peters’ story—and the clown caravan rallying behind her.

Let’s get this straight:

Tina Peters, ex-election clerk in sunny Mesa County, Colorado, broke into election machines, handed the data to conspiracy freaks, and threw our democracy under the bus to prove the 2020...

SATIRE WARNING

This is George Carlin–style heat—no civility, no soft edges. If you think history is just a memory game, or "reconstruction" is a costume party, you’re in the wrong channel. But if you want someone to punch fascism in its soft spot—welcome.

Let’s talk about Trump and that “Smithsonian’s teaching too much about slavery” meltdown. That’s not just white supremacy—it’s an ideological autopsy. It’s race denialism dressed up in patriotism so cheap you can feel it peeling off by...

SATIRE WARNING:

This isn’t financial advice. This is George Carlin–style financial heresy—profanity, mockery, and a hard slap to anyone who thinks crypto in your 401(k) is a “freedom dividend.” If you’re ready to YOLO your retirement into a meme coin named after a dog, prepare to be roasted.

So the Felon of the United States—yes, that orange kleptocrat in a red tie—just decided your retirement savings should be a playground for every speculative fever dream that Wall Street and the crypto...

SATIRE WARNING:

This is not an NBC primetime preview of the 2028 Olympics. This is a George Carlin–style rant, which means sarcasm, profanity, and zero respect for dictators who think the Olympic torch is a branding opportunity. If you came for “inspiring moments of unity,” you’re in the wrong stadium.

So here we are, folks—L.A. 2028. You thought the Olympics were going to be a celebration of sport, unity, and that weird techno music they play during medal ceremonies? Wrong.

The Felon of the...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER: This rant is certified 100% Carlin-esque, GMO-free, gluten-packed, and guaranteed to piss off billionaires who think a “subscription model” is the same thing as an economy. If you think ownership is overrated and landlords are just misunderstood philanthropists, strap in. This one’s for you.

So, Volkswagen’s got a new trick.

You buy a car. You pay full price. You sign papers, shake hands, drive it off the lot—and guess what? You don’t actually own the horsepower. Nope. That’...

SATIRE ALERT: This is not a balanced trade analysis.

It’s a George Carlin–style roast of America’s latest economic self-immolation. If you think tariffs are magic patriot taxes that punish foreigners while you sip domestic beer and watch the Dow rise, prepare for disappointment—and profanity.

Well folks, it’s official: we’re living in the world’s dumbest episode of Shark Tank, and Trade War Barbie just got her own spin-off.

Donald Trump has done it again.

New tariffs. Everywhere. On everything....

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

If you think elections are only “rigged” when your guy loses, if you believe Sharpies are secure but scanners are suspect, or if your idea of democracy involves screaming at voting machines until Fox News pays another settlement—sit down. The rest of you? Time to talk about the toddler-in-chief trying to ban the toys he keeps losing with.

Trump’s at it again. This morning’s post: Ban the machines! Not the slot machines, not the claw machines at Chuck E. Cheese—no, the voting...

Oh, sweethearts, pull up a chair because this one’s a triple threat. I’m Kendra, and today we’re talking with an author who doesn’t just wear different hats—she’s got an entire coat rack.

Under her own name, Desirae Gracyn, she’s a pediatric nurse by day and a spinner of fantastical, neurodivergent-filled worlds by night. (Because fairies need therapy too, thank you very much.) Her work has popped up everywhere from Houston Writers Guild Anthology to Micromance Magazine, stretching across...