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Snarky Disclaimer:

The following performance contains satirical commentary, political rage, and a healthy dose of George Carlin’s ghost punching holes in billionaire bullshit. It’s protected speech, sugar—so don’t clutch your pearls unless they’re crypto-backed.

Okay, class—gather 'round.

Today's topic?

The Truth Social–Bitcoin–SPAC–MagicBeanMachine.

Or, as it’s known on Wall Street:

“How to turn political fandom into unregulated financial froth!”

Let’s dig into this corporate love letter to...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire, full‑throated outrage with zero pipeline to actual legal advice. If you believe state‑sanctioned abductions are acceptable—well, your moral compass might be cellularly nonexistent. Those of us still clinging to due process? We’re watching a slow-motion coup in polyester masks.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the final act of the American collapse. It’s not famine, not fire—it's ICE turning into the federal Department of Human Trafficking.

Check the press...

Satirical Rant Disclaimer

The following is a snark-heavy, satire-laced, logic-drenched rant in the spirit of George Carlin. If you're looking for nuance, you've wandered into the wrong nightclub. This is where we roast bigotry, torch legal loopholes, and serve justice with a flamethrower. And yes—every bit of this is protected by the First Amendment. If you’re offended, that’s a feature, not a bug.

I can't believe it's August 1st and the fuckery has already begun. Oh, wait. It's FOTUS'...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Fire-breathing George Carlin energy delivered legally. If you're a political junkie, constitutional law nerd, or unpaid aide in the swamp—this is probably about you. No lawsuits were harmed in the making of this rant.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Felon of the United States has levered the executive arm so far into legislative territory, he's now starring in a tragic–comedy called “How To Govern Without Congress.”

Meet Russ Vought, newly minted budget czar,...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Sharp. Blunt. Loud. Legally protected. If you’re a lawyer, politician, or a former game show host currently impersonating a president, this is not about you. Unless it is. Either way, this isn't legal advice—it's a firehose of free speech aimed at the giant flaming garbage truck that is executive overreach.

You ever notice how every time FOTUS gets bored—or cornered by, say, the FBI, a judge, or his own reflection—he signs an executive order?

He doesn’t lead....

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Free speech, baby. That thing you wrap in flags when you're scared of the truth. If you're mad, congratulations—you’ve noticed the symptoms. All targets in this rant are metaphorical, exaggerated, and, unfortunately, real. If you think this is mean, wait until you see the policy.

Alright folks, gather ‘round. Pull up a chair. FOTUS—Felon of the United States, Grifter-in-Chief, King of the Pretrial Calendar—has done it again. He’s signed a brand-new executive...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This satirical commentary is based on publicly reported information, speculation around ongoing legal matters, and public figures’ own statements. It does not allege criminal conduct unless already established by a court of law. Any resemblance to guilt is purely a byproduct of actual behavior, not the author’s fault. If transparency hurts your feelings, take it up with reality.

Chuck Schumer just yanked an obscure law off the Senate bookshelf—the Rule of Five—a relic from...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Firm, furious, and loudly supportive of human rights. If your worldview includes erasing trans people to win a school board seat, maybe close the tab and rethink your life choices. For the rest of you: deep breath. We’re doing this properly.

Let’s say this first, clearly and without asterisks:

Trans people are people.

They deserve safety, dignity, and equal rights.

Period. Full stop. No fine print. No debate.

Being trans is not a policy issue. It’s not a campaign...

Disclaimer (snark included):

Okay, here’s the legal fine print: nothing below is medical advice, architectural critique, or home remedy for existential despair—but it is pure, unfiltered fury about the dismantling of democracy. If your feelings get hurt, guess what? You probably deserved it.

Here’s the thing nobody wants to say out loud in polite company anymore:

This motherfucker isn’t trying to lead America. He’s trying to own it. Wrap it in gold, trademark it, stuff it with his idiot spawn,...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. If you're allergic to facts, nuance, or moral consistency, stop reading now and go hug a tax cut. Everyone else, buckle up—we’re heading into the meat grinder of hypocrisy.

So let me get this straight.

A man with a documented history of mental illness walks into a Manhattan office tower, guns down four people, and dies trying to reach the NFL’s headquarters because he thought he had CTE.

And the real tragedy here—aside from the lives lost—is that he might not...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Pointed. Profane. Fully protected by what’s left of the First Amendment. If you think a $934 million airplane makeover is reasonable but a free Beyoncé appearance is treason, maybe you’re the punchline.

You ever notice how today’s GOP strategy is basically “say something completely fake, say it louder, then act offended when reality interrupts?”

It’s not a platform. It’s a concussion protocol wrapped in a fundraising email.

Let’s take a look at the greatest...

By Kendra Cassidy, chaos navigator, romantically inclined realist, and official greeter of emotionally intense narratives

Well.

It’s release day.

Which means Shadow Bound is live—out in the world, breathing fire and whispering secrets, and sounding downright dangerous thanks to the incredible voice talents of Daphne Rivers.

So let’s talk about what you’re getting into.

Because this one?

This one’s not soft.

It’s sharp.

It’s messy.

It’s seductive and brutal and aching in that way that only happens...

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (THE SNARKY VERSION):

The following rant is brought to you by the spirit of every outraged electrician, AI engineer, and renewable energy worker in the country. It contains strong language, violent metaphors (not real ones, calm down), and a deep, molten-core rage at stupid economic policy. If you're easily offended, good. That means you're still paying attention.

So let me get this straight.

FOTUS looked at the smoldering wreckage of the American economy—held together with...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. It's hot. It's legal. It’s paranoid with purpose. If you're a senator with fragile optics or a platform CEO trying to look “kid-friendly” while selling ad data to Beijing, this one's not for you. But hey, if you love the smell of pre-crime censorship in the morning, buckle up.

Ah, Senate Bill 1748—the Kids Online Safety Act. You hear that title and think, “Finally, they’re gonna stop the algorithm from turning my sixth grader into an Andrew Tate cosplayer.”

...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. A eulogy with bite. A tribute soaked in sarcasm, soaked again in reverence, and air-dried with the tears of a thousand canceled comedians. No actual pigeons were poisoned during the creation of this obituary. We miss you already, Tom. Thanks for making rage sound like show tunes.

Tom Lehrer is dead.

And now the rest of us are stuck here, trying to laugh our way through the apocalypse without the man who turned nuclear annihilation into a jaunty piano ballad.

He...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Loud, legal, locked, and loaded. No executives were harmed in the making of this rant—unless you count the ones who sold their souls for a merger, shredded their dignity for approval, and still got curb‑stomped by animated 8‑year‑olds in snowcaps. If you're offended, congrats—you found the truth.

So let’s talk about Paramount. Or, as I now like to call them, the world's most expensive doormat.

You see, Paramount wanted something. A shiny thing. An $8 billion...

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (With Maximum Snark):

The following content is a fictional satire, delivered by our legally-definitely-not-reanimated friend George Carlin. Any resemblance to real billionaires, bootlicking Congressmen, or sociopathic trust fund toddlers destroying public health from a golden toilet is absolutely intentional. Viewer discretion advised if you’re allergic to truth, swearing, or basic fucking empathy.

STAGE LIGHTS UP. SPOTLIGHT ON GEORGE.

You wanna talk about Medicaid? Yeah?...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Wild, profane, exasperated, and legally protected under what’s left of the First Amendment. If you think this is about you—it probably is. No real billionaires, ex-presidents, or sex traffickers were harmed in the making of this rant. But we’d sure like a word with a few.

You smell that?

It’s the distinct stench of scandal panic, desperation cologne, and stale Big Mac breath—the unmistakable fragrance of the Felon of the United States trying to outrun reality...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Yes, satire—where freedom of speech dresses up in anger and calls bullshit with a megaphone. Nothing here is an accusation, just exaggerated commentary by a fictional foul-mouthed ghost with no respect for fascists or phonies. If you're offended, congratulations—your conscience might still be working. And if you're in legal, political, or spiritual proximity to the Felon of the United States… buckle up, baby.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls, billionaires,...

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (SERVED WITH A SIDE OF CHEESE-FILLED SARCASM):

The following rant is brought to you by common sense, unfiltered joy, and a double-dose of fuck-the-system. No billionaires were harmed in the making of this rant—because they were all too busy charging you $18 for a beer and $40 to “upgrade” your seat to one that doesn’t smell like hot dog farts. Viewer discretion is advised, unless you’ve ever paid a “convenience fee” for breathing. In that case, strap in.

[GEORGE STEPS...