⚠️ SNARKY DISCLAIMER
 This is satire. Sharp. Blunt. Loud. Legally protected. If you’re a lawyer, politician, or a former game show host currently impersonating a president, this is not about you. Unless it is. Either way, this isn't legal advice—it's a firehose of free speech aimed at the giant flaming garbage truck that is executive overreach.
You ever notice how every time FOTUS gets bored—or cornered by, say, the FBI, a judge, or his own reflection—he signs an executive order?
He doesn’t lead. He doesn’t govern.
 He just starts scribbling authoritarian fan fiction on White House stationery and calls it policy.
And the latest masterpiece?
 He’s decided that cities—yes, the ones with actual human beings in them—don’t deserve anti-homelessness funding unless they help him round up immigrants.
That’s right.
You want federal help to keep your veterans out of tents?
Feed your unhoused teens?
Maybe run a clinic so people don’t lose their legs to frostbite?
Too bad, suckers.
If your city isn’t playing ball with ICE—if you’re not ready to turn your shelter into a holding pen and your outreach staff into bounty hunters—no money for you.
It’s like The Grinch decided to run Housing and Urban Development.
Now here’s the kicker: This exact bullshit already got shot down in court.
 More than once.
By judges who still know what the Constitution is and haven’t wrapped it in tinfoil.
But FOTUS? He’s not one to let a little thing like illegal slow him down.
So he just copied the same defunded nonsense from his earlier executive order, changed the font, and snuck it into the fine print of housing grants.
Subtle, right?
It’s like getting told “don’t hit your sister,” so instead you throw her out a window and claim it’s “aggressive relocation.”
He’s trying to make cities choose: Protect immigrants and lose shelter funds, or Sell out their communities to keep the lights on.
This isn’t governance—it’s hostage-taking in a MAGA hat.
And what’s the made-up excuse this time?
“We’re just ensuring compliance with federal law.”
Bullshit.
There is no law requiring cities to turn outreach workers into ICE interns.
There is no connection between housing grants and deportation quotas.
There is no universe where feeding hungry people violates national security—unless your entire political strategy depends on punishing empathy.
This is a shakedown.
It’s a mugging with a flag pin.
And cities across the country are saying: “Enough.”
They’ve sued.
They’ve won.
They’ve watched judges slam the brakes on this fever dream again and again.
But FOTUS? He keeps pressing the gas, hoping the courts won’t notice he’s driving the same flaming clown car he crashed four years ago.
Because that’s his move.
He doesn’t pivot—he repackages.
Same cruelty. New stationery.
And now he’s pulling anti-homelessness funding—yes, homelessness—into the culture war meat grinder.
Think about that.
He’s got billionaires hoarding tax shelters.
Corporations milking subsidies.
Wall Street grifting on every corner.
But the guy who lost his job and ended up in a tent under a freeway?
He’s the problem.
And if your city dares to treat him like a person, well, then no soup for you.
FINAL THOUGHT?
This isn’t about policy.
This isn’t about law.
This is about control.
If you don’t fall in line, you don’t get the money.
If you don’t spy on your neighbors, your shelters shut down.
If you don’t chant the anthem loud enough, maybe next year your buses stop running, your clinics close, your lights go out.
Because in Trump’s America, morality isn’t a virtue.
It’s a liability.
And if you help the vulnerable?
Well, now you’re the enemy, too.