⚠️ SNARKY DISCLAIMER

 This is satire. Yes, satire—where freedom of speech dresses up in anger and calls bullshit with a megaphone. Nothing here is an accusation, just exaggerated commentary by a fictional foul-mouthed ghost with no respect for fascists or phonies. If you're offended, congratulations—your conscience might still be working. And if you're in legal, political, or spiritual proximity to the Felon of the United States… buckle up, baby.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls, billionaires, and bootlickers—gather ‘round, because your favorite orange goblin has done it again.

That's right. The Felon of the United States—FOTUS, in all his bloviating, indictable glory—has emerged from his bunker of bad decisions with a shiny new Executive Order. And this one? This one targets a group so powerful, so dangerous, so threatening to the very fabric of American society that it demands immediate federal action.

Who, you ask?

The homeless.

That’s right. Homeless people. Folks with no money, no homes, no health care, and now—no rights. Because apparently, if you’re poor, sick, or mentally ill in this country, the solution is not to help you—it’s to vanish you.

The EO is called “Ending Crime and Disorder on America’s Streets,” which is Washingtonese for “We’re gonna make poverty illegal again.” And what’s the plan? Oh, it’s elegant in its cruelty and vague enough to choke a Constitution.

FOTUS wants cities to clear out “encampments” and forcibly commit anyone who looks like they might need help. Not offer housing. Not offer support. Just snatch ‘em up, label ‘em dangerous, and disappear ‘em.

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Soviet Union, 1950s.

Argentina, 1970s.

America, Thursday.

The EO talks about “individuals who pose a danger to themselves or others,” but doesn’t define how. Doesn’t require a diagnosis, a trial, or even a bed to put them in. Hell, it explicitly tells jails and hospitals: “Don’t worry about capacity. Just take ‘em.”

“Maximally flexible standards,” it says.

That’s not policy. That’s dictator Mad Libs.

And to make sure nobody can stop this dystopian purge, the EO demands a reversal of judicial protections and consent decrees—you know, those pesky little legal safeguards that prevent cops from dragging you off just because you were in the wrong place, wearing the wrong clothes, or having the wrong kind of day.

Oh, and it gets better. You know those Housing First programs that actually work? That reduce homelessness by putting people in homes?

Yeah. FOTUS just cut their funding.

Because compassion isn’t profitable, and you can’t build private prisons out of empathy.

Instead, the EO prioritizes grants for cities that criminalize “camping,” “loitering,” “open drug use,” and—my personal favorite—“disorderly behavior.” Disorderly behavior.

You know what that is?

That’s whatever the guy with the badge and the quota says it is.

Had a bad day and snapped at someone? Disorderly.

Argued with a cop? Disorderly.

Waved the wrong protest sign at a rally? Disorderly.

Homeless, disabled, political, and pissed off? Disappearable.

And here's the little cherry on top of this authoritarian sundae: the EO calls for increased data sharing between public health agencies and law enforcement.

That’s right. Your medical records, your housing status, your mental health history—now potentially shared with the same people who are being told to lock you up.

Because who needs due process when you’ve got a spreadsheet?

And let’s not ignore the timing, shall we?

While Epstein lists are circulating like porn at a frat house and legal hammers are swinging from every courtroom east of Missouri, what does FOTUS do?

He signs an order to clean the streets.

Not Wall Street.

Not K Street.

Not the Mar-a-Lago backrooms where deals go down and secrets stay buried.

Nope. He’s cleaning your street. And he’s starting with the people least able to fight back.

Because that’s the game, folks. That’s the trick.

Kick the powerless. Feed the rage. Pretend it’s leadership.

It’s not about safety.

It’s not about public order.

It’s about building a legal framework for repression—one that starts with the poor and ends with whoever the hell they don’t like next week.

You think this is just about homelessness?

Think again.

It’s about control.

About turning the public square into a police zone.

About criminalizing existence outside the machine.

Because if they can label you unstable, unsheltered, or unwell…

They can label you unwanted.

 And if they can label you unwanted…

They can make you disappear.

So here’s the truth:

This isn’t a solution.

It’s a pretext.

A way to clear the streets and fill the cages.

And FOTUS? He’s not saving America.

He’s paving the road back to the asylum—not the kind with help and hope, but the kind with locks and shadows and no return address.

🎤 FINAL THOUGHT?

If you’re rich, you get a bailout.

If you’re middle class, you get a mortgage.

If you’re poor, you get a tent and a ticket.

And if you’re homeless?

Now you get a fucking van with tinted windows and a one-way trip to nowhere.

Welcome to law and order, baby.

Where the law doesn’t apply,

And the order is obedience.