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SATIRE WARNING: This ain’t a civics lesson—it’s a George Carlin–style rant.

That means sarcasm, swearing, and a total lack of reverence for tyrants in red ties. If you think gerrymandering is a patriotic pastime and censuses should come with purity tests, this is gonna sting like a truth enema. Everyone else? Buckle the fuck in.

You ever watch someone cheat at Monopoly, get caught, and then set the board on fire?

That’s the modern Republican Party.

We are way past “rig the rules.”

We are at “if...

SATIRE ALERT: This is a George Carlin–style rant.

That means sarcasm, swearing, and zero tolerance for bullshit. If you think vaccines are a conspiracy, buckle up—this one’s got your name on it, misspelled on purpose.

So let me get this straight.

We finally invent the science to punch HIV in the dick, blindside cancer, outmaneuver COVID, and maybe—just maybe—prevent the next pandemic from eating our lungs with a spoon…

And Robert Fucking Kennedy Jr. looks at that miracle of modern science and...

SATIRE ALERT: Carlin-style rant incoming.

Warning: Contains politically charged sarcasm, profanity, and unapologetic truth. If you're allergic to common sense or think semiconductors are a breakfast cereal, this might sting.

Oh look. It’s another episode of “Donald Trump Plays CEO of Everything.”

Today’s victim? Intel.

Today’s crime? Hiring a guy who knows how global business works.

So here’s the plot twist of the week:

President Trump—yes, still somehow the guy with the nuclear codes—just told ...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

The following rant is brought to you by the Ghost of George Carlin, the Spirit of the First Amendment, and the rapidly deteriorating concept of common sense. We’re not attacking Israel, Ukraine, or the American people—hell, we’re not even attacking the state of Alaska. We are going after the bloated, gold-plated stupidity of politicians who treat foreign policy like an episode of Celebrity Apprentice: Nuclear Edition. If you think this is about you personally…...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This satirical takedown addresses public policy, court decisions, and constitutional rights. It does not assert any criminal wrongdoing except according to rulings already made. If you think the 14th Amendment is a suggestion, or that an ex-president can pick and choose your civil rights—maybe start with a civics class and end with a mirror.

So the Felon of the United States—FOTUS for short—signed Executive Order 14160 on Day One of his second term, declaring: “No birthright...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER:

This rant is protected satire. It’s a fiery opinion about public actions by public officials and legal institutions. It does not accuse anyone of criminal behavior unless already confirmed by courts. Any resemblance to oppressive regimes is purely due to shared tactics. If you feel personally attacked, consult your conscience or a history book.

You thought we were done fighting about who people are allowed to love?

Well buckle up, buckaroos, because the Supreme Court’s most...

So the Trump DOJ—you remember, the one now being run like it’s the legal wing of a Mar-a-Lago HOA—has started reaching out to states, asking—no, demanding—full access to their voter rolls.

Let’s be clear: they’re not looking for souvenir fridge magnets.

They want names.

Addresses.

Birthdays.

Social Security fragments.

Whether you once hiccuped near a voting booth in 2004.

They’re calling it a “compliance check” under laws like the NVRA and HAVA.

Translation? They’re combing through the electoral...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. The views expressed are humorous commentary on public policy, not personal attacks or legal accusations. No customs agents, yoga pants, commemorative Bigfoot spoons, or international sock smugglers were harmed in the making of this rant. If your administration chooses to tax $20 pens and call it national security, expect someone to point out the absurdity—with gusto.

Here we go again.

President Felon of the United States, also known as the walking economic...

Legal-Sounding Disclaimer

This performance is protected under the “Don’t Sue Me for Pointing Out the Obvious” clause of the Common Sense Constitution. Any resemblance to actual events is entirely intentional. We’re not making fun of the people — just the power structure that’s been huffing its own exhaust.

You hear about this one?

The federal government — and I mean THE federal government, the big shiny one with the nuclear football — decided to SUE an entire court. Not a judge. Not a clerk.

No...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This rant contains anatomy, absurdity, and a deep disrespect for the idea that the human body is anything close to intelligently designed. If you’re a fan of chins, testes, or dignity, buckle up.

The human body is not a temple.

It’s a Craigslist Frankenstein held together with scar tissue, hope, and four billion years of “well, let’s see what happens if we stick THIS over HERE.”

Look at us! Walking around like we’re the pinnacle of creation, when half our internal organs are ...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This rant is brought to you by the Ghost of George Carlin, the ghost of your civil rights, and the nagging voice in your head that says, “Didn’t we already fight this fight?” If you think “equal protection” is a suggestion, or that marriage is a club only open to straight people, get comfy — you’re about to get roasted.

The Crime? Overturning a Decade of “Nobody Died”

Ten years ago, the Supreme Court said, “Yeah, same-sex couples can get married.” The sky didn’t fall. The...

Satire Disclaimer:

The following is political satire. It’s parody, commentary, and social criticism, targeting the actions of public officials and the policies they promote — not any race, religion, or nationality. If you think it’s aimed at you personally, you either work in this administration… or you’ve got bigger problems.

Well folks… here we go again. Donald J. Trump — FOTUS, First Orange to Trash Urban Self-Governance — woke up today, looked at Washington, D.C., and said: “Mine now.”

For...

Hey hey, troublemakers—Kendra here.

You ever meet someone and instantly know their brain runs on story magic and probably a little bit of glittery chaos? That’s Trisha Thacker. She’s a sun-dodging, tea-sipping, taco-wielding word witch out of the Southwest who writes urban fantasy with heart, humor, and a touch of shadow. Think faerie tales reimagined, rewilded, and lit on fire just to see what burns brightest.

When she’s not wrangling her muses (or her cats—Ginger and Kai, who are absolutely...

Hey sugarplums—Kendra Cassidy here, back in your inbox with another author who’s bringing the sunshine, sass, and swoon. And this time? We’re slipping off our shoes and digging our toes into the warm, sugary sands of Kimberly Webb’s imagination.

Now, Kimberly isn’t just here to give you a happily-ever-after—though she’s got those in spades. She writes feel-good romance with heart, humor, and just the right splash of tropical breeze to make you forget your inbox is screaming and your coffee’s...

SATIRICAL DISCLAIMER:

The following program contains strong language, political heresy, and more mockery than a congressional hearing on TikTok. If you’re allergic to facts, logic, or the idea that maybe—just maybe—the guy in the golf cart isn’t a selfless humanitarian—grab your emotional support MAGA hat and brace yourself. This is satire. If you feel personally attacked, that’s between you and your therapist.

Ah, Washington D.C.—the nation’s capital. Seat of democracy. Birthplace of...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Loud, sharp, and legally aware. If you're fine with collapsing prosecutorial independence because it helps your guy skip a few subpoenas, you might want to sit this one out and go polish your golden toilet seat.

So here we are, folks.

Another episode of “How to Dismantle Democracy in 10 Moves or Less,” starring President Felon of the United States and his favorite legal henchperson, Alina Habba—a woman whose qualifications include losing a $83 million...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Hot, historically schooled, and loaded with outrage. If you think the Smithsonian is too woke, but hauling off a national treasure to your hometown is patriotic—well, you’re the problem.

So on July 4th, while fireworks lit up DC, Republicans snuck a clause into their "One Big Beautiful Bill" making it basically legal to steal the Space Shuttle Discovery from the Smithsonian—and ship it to Houston, Texas.

Transparently billed as honoring Texas—because politics...

SATIRE WARNING:

This is not a polite Beltway whisper about “personnel changes.” This is a George Carlin–style flamethrower, aimed squarely at the politics of incompetence. Profanity will be used with surgical precision, hypocrisy will be dragged into the daylight, and if you don’t know what the Employee Retention Credit is now, you will by the time I’m done—and you’ll probably hate it.

Well, here we go again—another episode of “Who the Hell Is Running the Government This Week?” Spoiler: it’s...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Loaded with hypocrisy detectors and moral clarity. If your support for Trump still makes you think ICE raids are a dinner tableside show, you're not the audience.

Let’s start off slow so the gaslighting doesn’t burn both ends of your brain.

Kid Rock is a trademark case in MAGA pantomime: A musician turned political pyrotechnics spokesperson, flipping off liberals, firing hundreds of beer cans at once like he's auditioning for a Bond villain gig.

Remember his ...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Angry, exhausted, and debt-aware satire. If you think tariffs are free, rebates are magic, and budgets balance themselves with vibes, you might want to skip this one and go hug a check from 2020.

So Josh Hawley—senator, part-time gym enthusiast, and full-time logic contortionist—has a brand-new plan to save America:

A $600 “Tariff Rebate” for Every American.

You heard that right.

We’re getting a refund check for the tariffs we weren’t supposed to be paying.

This...