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SATIRE WARNING: This is not NPR. This is George Carlin’s ghost with a crowbar.

Language ahead may offend fascists, cowards, private prison shareholders, and anyone who thinks the DHS slogan “Defend Your Culture” doesn’t sound like a deleted Wolfenstein mission briefing.

You ever get a bill so big, so grotesque, so theatre-of-the-damned ridiculous, you wonder if it came from a dystopian Mad Libs?

Well guess what, kids—we’re all holding the receipt now.

A woman in Nebraska asked the right...

SATIRE ALERT: This is a George Carlin–style rant.

That means sarcasm, swearing, and a full-throated scream into the flaming dumpster of American politics. If you're easily offended, go find a cat video and clutch your pearls. Everyone else? Buckle up.

So let me get this straight.

We’ve reached the part of the fascist speedrun where the president decides who counts as a person.

Literally.

Donald "I Love the Constitution Except When It Inconveniences Me" Trump has just told his Commerce Department...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Harsh, furious, and entirely clean-air–approved. If you think the climate crisis is just a liberal excuse for weather-themed socialism, you may want to go stare at a tailpipe for comfort. For everyone else: inhale deeply—while you still can.

THE RANT:

So the Environmental Protection Agency—yes, the one with the word “protection” in the name—just made the single most unprotected, unhinged move since a raccoon ran for city council:

They’ve officially declared...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. If your campaign staff is busy photoshopping Trump's head onto Mount Rushmore or misspelling "Georgia" in all caps, you probably won't like what follows. For everyone else: grab your popcorn and keep your nouns properly placed.

Let’s talk about the 2026 Senate races, where the GOP is running a full-time personality cult and the Democrats just rolled out a grown-ass adult with a résumé.

See, for ten years now, the Republican strategy has been simple: kiss the...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

The following rant is brought to you by the Ghost of George Carlin, the Spirit of the First Amendment, and your friendly neighborhood sense of civic doom. If you’re allergic to sarcasm, allergic to facts, or think gerrymandering is just competitive cartography, buckle up. This ain’t a TED Talk. This is democracy with brass knuckles.

So, what the hell is going on in Texas?

Well, sit down, open your cold Lone Star, and let me explain how the Lone Star State is yeehawing its...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Brutal, lawful, historically literate satire. If your primary sources are Truth Social memes and campaign merch, you might want to sit this one out. Everyone else, welcome to the tribute nobody asked for.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we present the next act in America’s slow-motion authoritarian cosplay—an official GOP bill to erase John F. Kennedy’s name from the nation’s performing arts center and slap Donald J. Trump’s face on it instead.

That's right.

They...

Hey there, mystery mavens—it’s Kendra Cassidy here, your favorite retired admiral turned literary busybody.

Today, I’ve locked onto an author whose books are as twisty as a wormhole and just as hard to predict: Michele PW (Pariza Wacek). If that name rings a bell, it should—she’s a USA Today bestselling author with 23 novels, 5 novellas, and a dangerous tendency to surprise you when you least expect it.

Michele taught herself to read at the age of three. Not because someone told her to, oh no—...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire—no actual justice harmed in the crafting of this rant. It’s a mockery of a mockery with legal protection and righteous fury. If you think this is unfair, then maybe check whether you’re on the right side of history.

Welcome aboard the dystopian carnival of logic, folks. The Trump admin just wrapped up the world’s most disturbing prisoner swap: 250 Venezuelan men—detained without charge, tortured in El Salvador’s CECOT prison—sent home to appease Maduro, and in...

Snarky Disclaimer:

The following performance contains satirical commentary, political rage, and a healthy dose of George Carlin’s ghost punching holes in billionaire bullshit. It’s protected speech, sugar—so don’t clutch your pearls unless they’re crypto-backed.

Okay, class—gather 'round.

Today's topic?

The Truth Social–Bitcoin–SPAC–MagicBeanMachine.

Or, as it’s known on Wall Street:

“How to turn political fandom into unregulated financial froth!”

Let’s dig into this corporate love letter to...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire, full‑throated outrage with zero pipeline to actual legal advice. If you believe state‑sanctioned abductions are acceptable—well, your moral compass might be cellularly nonexistent. Those of us still clinging to due process? We’re watching a slow-motion coup in polyester masks.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the final act of the American collapse. It’s not famine, not fire—it's ICE turning into the federal Department of Human Trafficking.

Check the press...

Satirical Rant Disclaimer

The following is a snark-heavy, satire-laced, logic-drenched rant in the spirit of George Carlin. If you're looking for nuance, you've wandered into the wrong nightclub. This is where we roast bigotry, torch legal loopholes, and serve justice with a flamethrower. And yes—every bit of this is protected by the First Amendment. If you’re offended, that’s a feature, not a bug.

I can't believe it's August 1st and the fuckery has already begun. Oh, wait. It's FOTUS'...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Fire-breathing George Carlin energy delivered legally. If you're a political junkie, constitutional law nerd, or unpaid aide in the swamp—this is probably about you. No lawsuits were harmed in the making of this rant.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Felon of the United States has levered the executive arm so far into legislative territory, he's now starring in a tragic–comedy called “How To Govern Without Congress.”

Meet Russ Vought, newly minted budget czar,...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Sharp. Blunt. Loud. Legally protected. If you’re a lawyer, politician, or a former game show host currently impersonating a president, this is not about you. Unless it is. Either way, this isn't legal advice—it's a firehose of free speech aimed at the giant flaming garbage truck that is executive overreach.

You ever notice how every time FOTUS gets bored—or cornered by, say, the FBI, a judge, or his own reflection—he signs an executive order?

He doesn’t lead....

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Free speech, baby. That thing you wrap in flags when you're scared of the truth. If you're mad, congratulations—you’ve noticed the symptoms. All targets in this rant are metaphorical, exaggerated, and, unfortunately, real. If you think this is mean, wait until you see the policy.

Alright folks, gather ‘round. Pull up a chair. FOTUS—Felon of the United States, Grifter-in-Chief, King of the Pretrial Calendar—has done it again. He’s signed a brand-new executive...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This satirical commentary is based on publicly reported information, speculation around ongoing legal matters, and public figures’ own statements. It does not allege criminal conduct unless already established by a court of law. Any resemblance to guilt is purely a byproduct of actual behavior, not the author’s fault. If transparency hurts your feelings, take it up with reality.

Chuck Schumer just yanked an obscure law off the Senate bookshelf—the Rule of Five—a relic from...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Firm, furious, and loudly supportive of human rights. If your worldview includes erasing trans people to win a school board seat, maybe close the tab and rethink your life choices. For the rest of you: deep breath. We’re doing this properly.

Let’s say this first, clearly and without asterisks:

Trans people are people.

They deserve safety, dignity, and equal rights.

Period. Full stop. No fine print. No debate.

Being trans is not a policy issue. It’s not a campaign...

Disclaimer (snark included):

Okay, here’s the legal fine print: nothing below is medical advice, architectural critique, or home remedy for existential despair—but it is pure, unfiltered fury about the dismantling of democracy. If your feelings get hurt, guess what? You probably deserved it.

Here’s the thing nobody wants to say out loud in polite company anymore:

This motherfucker isn’t trying to lead America. He’s trying to own it. Wrap it in gold, trademark it, stuff it with his idiot spawn,...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. If you're allergic to facts, nuance, or moral consistency, stop reading now and go hug a tax cut. Everyone else, buckle up—we’re heading into the meat grinder of hypocrisy.

So let me get this straight.

A man with a documented history of mental illness walks into a Manhattan office tower, guns down four people, and dies trying to reach the NFL’s headquarters because he thought he had CTE.

And the real tragedy here—aside from the lives lost—is that he might not...

SNARKY DISCLAIMER

This is satire. Pointed. Profane. Fully protected by what’s left of the First Amendment. If you think a $934 million airplane makeover is reasonable but a free Beyoncé appearance is treason, maybe you’re the punchline.

You ever notice how today’s GOP strategy is basically “say something completely fake, say it louder, then act offended when reality interrupts?”

It’s not a platform. It’s a concussion protocol wrapped in a fundraising email.

Let’s take a look at the greatest...

By Kendra Cassidy, chaos navigator, romantically inclined realist, and official greeter of emotionally intense narratives

Well.

It’s release day.

Which means Shadow Bound is live—out in the world, breathing fire and whispering secrets, and sounding downright dangerous thanks to the incredible voice talents of Daphne Rivers.

So let’s talk about what you’re getting into.

Because this one?

This one’s not soft.

It’s sharp.

It’s messy.

It’s seductive and brutal and aching in that way that only happens...