Disclaimer: This is George-level contempt, with profanity professionally applied and absolutely no citations to hide behind. Read only if your arteries can handle caffeine, outrage, and democracy in the same sentence.

You ever notice how when people with all the power decide to be cruel, they call it “strategy”?

Today’s playbook is a master class in malicious incompetence. The court says—calmly, like a parent telling a toddler not to eat glue—“Use the emergency fund. Feed the people.” Two judges say it. The law says it. Hell, the Ten Commandments basically say it. “Feed the hungry.” Easy!

So what do the ghouls in charge do? They take the emergency fund, spill half of it on the floor like loose change at a strip club, and say, “There. That should hold you till we stop being evil.”

And then His Orange Indignity hops on Truth Social, pounding out another all-caps tantrum: “SNAP BENEFITS…WILL BE GIVEN ONLY WHEN THE RADICAL LEFT DEMOCRATS OPEN UP GOVERNMENT.”

Translation: “I’m going to starve forty-three million Americans until someone tells me I’m pretty.”

He’s using hunger as a political weapon. Straight-up hostage taking with grocery lists. The courts said, “Feed the people.” He said, “Feed my ego.”

They fund SNAP at fifty percent. Half the benefits, half the decency, half the soul. Then they tell the states it might take “weeks or months” to process because “the systems are complicated.” No, the systems aren’t complicated—you’re complicit. That’s lawyering by sadism.

Then comes the spin cycle: Trump posts the Hunger Ultimatum, and the press secretary chirps, “We’re fully complying!” That’s like sucker-punching someone, handing them a Band-Aid, and saying, “See? Healing!”

Let’s do the math: SNAP costs eight to nine billion a month. They cough up less than five, call it generosity, and expect applause for not robbing the fridge completely. That’s not compliance; that’s extortion with a flag pin.

Meanwhile, the talking-heads chorus begins. “It’s the Democrats’ fault! They could end this anytime!” Sure—and I could end my hangover by drinking cyanide. The same crew that worships “self-reliance” now treats hunger as a useful negotiation tactic. Dependency for thee, but not for me.

And lurking behind the curtain are the usual creeps: Steven Miller, pale as printer paper and twice as soulless, whispering policy memos that read like rejected horror scripts. The man looks like he was grown in a Temu lab called Project Nosferatu. Every time he smiles, a food bank closes.

This isn’t negotiation. This isn’t strategy. This is cruelty with a press office. It’s mob rule in a red tie.

And here’s the sick joke: the people they’re starving aren’t lobbyists. They’re kids. They’re elders. They’re parents trying to stretch spaghetti into miracles. The court told them to stop playing god with other people’s dinners, and they decided to double down instead.

When a government refuses to feed its people just to win an argument, that’s not politics. That’s a failure of civilization wearing cufflinks. You don’t get to call yourself “pro-life” while holding the grocery line hostage.

Remember when they said, “We’ll never be like those authoritarian regimes”? Buddy, you’re halfway there. You’ve got the cult, the propaganda network, and now the hunger games. All you’re missing is the outfit—and Melania’s already halfway to the costume design.

So let’s be clear, simple English, no footnotes: If you need starvation to win leverage, you’ve already lost. If you use hunger as a threat, you don’t belong in office—you belong on a watchlist. You’ve traded leadership for leverage, morality for memes, and you’ve mistaken fear for power.

And while the White House plays politics with half a month’s groceries, the tab doesn’t hit Mar-a-Lago. It hits the mom staring down an empty pantry. The kid whose lunch card ran out. The retiree counting pennies for bread.

That’s who’s paying for this circus.

And when the lights come up, I hope the audience remembers who was selling popcorn and who was eating the cast.

Because this isn’t strategy.

It’s cruelty with a slogan.

And the voters are the ones who still remember what food tastes like.