⚠️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER (Snarky but Required):

This is satire. Vulgar, exasperated, pissed-off satire. Protected by what’s left of the First Amendment. If you’re RFK Jr., Donald Trump, or one of their goon squad vaccine-skeptics, and you think this is slander—congratulations, you’ve officially lost the ability to distinguish satire from reality. That’s on you.

You ready for this shit?

Because here’s the headline: The Trump-Kennedy clown car administration is gearing up to BAN COVID-19 vaccines entirely.

Not restrict. Not tweak. Ban.

The one tool that kept millions of people from gasping their last in an ICU parking lot? Out. The medicine that let us crawl back into restaurants and weddings and not funerals every goddamn weekend? Gone.

And it’s not paranoia—it’s policy.

RFK Jr. yanked all 17 members off the CDC’s vaccine advisory panel like it was amateur night at a fascist talent show. Replaced them with professional quacks and Twitter-certified skeptics—including one guy who literally said we should pull the mRNA vaccines off the shelf entirely. Imagine stocking the firehouse with matches and gasoline.

They already stopped recommending the shot for pregnant women and kids—because apparently the best prenatal care is rolling the dice with your life. And while that’s happening, they’re cutting vaccine development funds by hundreds of millions. Goodbye cancer vax pipeline, HIV preventatives, pandemic defenses—fuck it all, we’ve got ivermectin and prayer circles.

Meanwhile, World Liberty Financial—yes, Trump’s shiny new crypto pyramid scheme—gets his full attention and protection. Because the only “science” this orange tumor believes in is the science of separating you from your wallet.

Now, here’s the rage part:

This isn’t about health. This isn’t about “safety.”

This is about power.

If you ban the vaccine, you ban the evidence. No shot, no statistics. No statistics, no accountability. COVID deaths will spike? Blame immigrants. Blame China. Blame Taylor Swift. Doesn’t matter—the corpse count’s just another campaign prop.

And while we’re at it, think about who benefits. Wealthy elites will still fly their families to Europe or Singapore for treatment. Pharma execs will pivot to “loyalty tokens.” Meanwhile, the working stiff—the single mom, the janitor, the nurse—gets to play roulette with respiratory collapse.

It’s not just dangerous. It’s medieval. And it’s deliberate.

And you know the endgame:

The Felon of the United States has always envied Putin, Kim, Stalin, every murderous bastard who ruled with a boot and a smile. What’s a better loyalty test than forcing your population to get sick? Nothing says “obedience” like lining up to bury Grandma and thanking Dear Leader for the privilege.

This is what fascism smells like. Not jackboots and tanks—at least not at first. No, it starts with paperwork, executive orders, and a fake-science sideshow starring RFK Jr. and his merry band of snake-oil salesmen.

💣 FINAL THOUGHT:

You don’t kill vaccines because they don’t work.

You kill vaccines because they do.

And when a government bans medicine to consolidate power, that’s not “policy.”

That’s fucking homicide with a letterhead.

So yeah— RFK Jr. gets to play Surgeon General Mengele.

Trump gets to grift another crypto scam.

And the rest of us? We get to breathe soot, eat debt, and hope our lungs don’t quit before democracy does.

Mic dropped. Syringe smashed.

And your immune system? Congratulations—it’s collateral damage.