⚠️ DISCLAIMER (Snark, but also lawyering):

This is satire. Loud, profane, and protected by that dusty old First Amendment. If you think this rant is aimed at you, that’s probably because you were wearing a ski mask and pretending to be law enforcement last Friday night.

So here’s the story:

 Houston. Friday night. A family at home, probably watching TV, maybe having dessert. Knock at the door. Two guys in ski masks, wearing bulletproof vests, flashing badges like they bought them at Spirit Halloween.

“Open up, we’ve got a warrant!”

No squad car. No flashing lights. No backup. Just two masked clowns banging on the door like extras from Breaking Bad.

The homeowner takes one look and says: “Bullshit.”

Then the “cops” start blasting through the door.

And that’s when Texas happened. The homeowner returned fire and dropped them both. Dead on the porch. The cops show up later and say, “Yep, definitely not us. Also, pro tip: real police don’t wear ski masks.”

No shit.

But here’s the kicker: tell me this doesn’t sound like the perfect storm brewed by Trump’s ICE-and-Order circus. The administration’s been flooding cities with masked feds, deputized rent-a-cops, “rapid response” units in camo who think their job is to cosplay Call of Duty on Main Street. Sooner or later, people are gonna stop asking questions and start pulling triggers.

And here we are.

Two dead. A family traumatized. And the line between real cops and fake cops blurred because the government spent years teaching us that masks, vests, and unmarked vans are “normal.”

This is what happens when the state militarizes daily life. When ICE raids blur into home invasions. When DHS decides every immigrant is a criminal and every neighborhood a battlefield. When “law enforcement” is whatever guy Stephen Miller points at with a clipboard.

And the result? Innocent families stuck between actual criminals pretending to be cops, and actual cops who act like criminals.

You want safety? You don’t get safety. You get chaos. You get paranoia. You get ski-masked morons drilling bullet holes in suburban doors while Fox News screams about law and order.

FINAL THOUGHT?

When the line between cop and criminal vanishes, when both show up in ski masks with guns, the only thing left is chaos. And chaos is the Trump brand. This wasn’t an accident. It’s the logical endpoint of the ICE state.

So yeah—FAFO: ICE Edition.

And the ones paying the price aren’t the grifters in Washington. It’s the families ducking bullets in Houston, wondering if the next knock at the door is gonna be the cops, the crooks, or the crooks pretending to be the cops.