Disclaimer

This is satire. If you think the President has the constitutional power to single-handedly rewrite election law, congratulations — you’re already living in parody. The resemblance to real-world events is purely because reality won’t stop imitating bad comedy.

Labor Day’s supposed to celebrate workers, but FOTUS decided it was the perfect weekend to try and lay off democracy itself. He announced an executive order to mandate voter ID in every U.S. election and ban almost all mail-in voting.

And he announced it where? On Truth Social — the website where posts are called Truths. Think about that. A man who lies like it’s a cardiovascular exercise gets to publish propaganda under the brand name “Truth.” That’s not irony — that’s performance art.

Let’s start with the fraud lie. He screams about voter fraud like it’s an epidemic. In reality? It’s rarer than honesty at a Trump cabinet meeting. You’re more likely to get struck by lightning while cashing in a winning Powerball ticket than to see someone try to vote twice.

Then there’s the “only America uses mail-in voting” claim. Complete garbage. Dozens of countries do it. And here’s the kicker: he’s done it himself. More than once. In 2024, fourteen states plus D.C. had over 30% vote-by-mail turnout. He won half of them. Utah, run by Republicans, had over 91% vote by mail. He loved it when it worked for him. But if students, Black voters, or poor people use it? Suddenly it’s the end of civilization.

And let’s talk about voter ID. Sounds simple, right? Everyone has ID? Wrong. As many as 11% of eligible voters don’t — and the people least likely to have it are seniors, minorities, low-income workers, disabled folks, and students. In other words: the people who might not vote for him. That’s not election integrity. That’s election engineering.

But here’s the bigger point: he doesn’t even have the power to do this. The Constitution gives control over elections to the states, with Congress as backup. The president? Nowhere in the mix. The last time he tried something similar — requiring proof of citizenship — a federal judge blocked it because it risked disenfranchising millions. Passports, birth certificates, name changes, you name it — a nightmare for millions of Americans.

But this was never about legality. It’s about spectacle. It’s about scaring people into thinking they’ll be turned away at the polls. It’s about building another brick in the one-party state wall.

And doesn’t it fit the rest of the script? Starve D.C.’s budget, then declare the city broken. Fire public health officials who won’t bend the knee. Arrest firefighters in the middle of a wildfire to show who’s boss. Kill clean energy projects to keep oil billionaires fat and happy. And now, choke off the vote itself. It’s all one big throughline: break the systems that work, weaponize the ones that don’t, and consolidate power at the top.

So let’s strip away the branding. These aren’t “Truths.” They’re lies, wrapped in capital letters, stamped with exclamation points, and piped into a social media cult machine.

And the real truth is this: it’s not about IDs. It’s about identifying the people he doesn’t want voting — and erasing them from democracy.