⚠️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Standard Issue, Now With Extra Rage):

 This is a fictional rant in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin, written as political satire. If you're a federal official whose idea of border security is frisking every woman with a brain, a passport, and an opinion—grab a chair and prepare to be roasted.

George Says: “WOMEN WITH AGENCY? IN THIS ADMINISTRATION? DON’T BE RIDICULOUS—THEY’D RATHER YOU CAME WITH A USER MANUAL AND A WARRANTY STICKER.”

Let’s break this down.

You’ve got Nicolle Saroukos, former Aussie cop, handcuffed, cavity-searched, and deported for having the nerve to visit her husband, a U.S. soldier.

You’ve got two British teenage girls, yanked off their Hawaii-bound plane, grilled for hours, and expelled—because they might overstay. Their crime? Being 18 and female in a post-Trump America.

Then there’s the German woman who arrived legally to volunteer and got tossed out faster than Marjorie Taylor Greene at a MENSA mixer.

And the British academic with work permits in Canada and the U.S.? Deported. Because she was a woman with credentials, independence, and a voice. And this administration doesn’t like any of those things—especially when they all come in one package.

It’s not a coincidence. It’s not policy nuance. It’s a message.

A message from the Felon of the United States and his band of Purity Police LARPers:

“You want to be here, lady? Shut up, look pretty, and keep your legs open. Because to us, you’re not citizens. You’re incubators with baggage.”

And baggage? Oh, they mean literal baggage. Because if you pack too many outfits, you’re clearly here to overthrow democracy and give birth to anchor babies.

George says: This isn’t immigration enforcement. This is 1950s America with drones.

Let’s be real.

When they strip reproductive rights, they target women.

When they gut health care? Women suffer first.

When they push bills to redefine gender based on gametes? That’s aimed at women, especially trans women, queer women, and anyone who dares not conform.

And now?

They’re using the borders to gatekeep who gets to exist freely, fully, and visibly in America. If you’re a woman who travels alone, speaks her mind, carries a degree, runs a business, or—God forbid—loves another woman? You're a threat. Not to security. But to the fantasy they're selling to the base.

A fantasy where women cook, clean, breed, and keep their mouths shut—unless it’s to pray or swallow.

They don’t want empowered women. They want Stepford stock.

And they’re making damn sure the state is the boot that keeps your neck at the right angle.

This is repression with a barcode. State terror in a TSA uniform. Patriarchy rebranded as policy.

George says:

“You wanna talk about protecting this country? Try protecting the women you keep trying to silence.”

Until then, shove your QR codes, your deportation quotas, and your purity tests somewhere dark and unregulated.

George out.

 And ladies? If you’re still here, still loud, still living—thank you. Because they’re terrified of you. And that’s the one thing they got right.