⚠️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Standard Issue, Reality May Be Subject to Substitution):

 This is a fictional rant in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin, written as political satire and delivered with full stage-rant venom and volume. If you think everyone is a clone except yourself, this one’s for you.

🎤 George On Stage, Lit Up and Loaded:

 So the FOTUS is now pushing the theory that Joe Biden is a clone.

 Not a metaphorical clone, not a "he’s so boring, he's like a copy of a copy" joke—a literal fucking CLONE.

 He’s out here saying the President of the United States is a lab-grown meat puppet grown in a vat behind the DNC.

Let me ask you something—How fucking stupid do you have to think your supporters are to even TRY that shit?

And here's the real kicker: This leaves us with only two possibilities.

Option A: He’s totally batshit delusional.

 Believes what he’s saying.

 Wanders the gold-plated halls of Mar-a-Loco whispering about body doubles and deep state DNA labs under the Denver airport.

 He's buying his own bullshit and selling it wholesale to QAnon.

OR—

Option B: He knows it’s bullshit… and says it anyway.

 He knows Biden’s not a clone.

 He knows the science doesn’t work that way.

 He’s just feeding his base a chewy nugget of conspiracy comfort food so they don’t ask real questions.

Questions like:

“Why are you gutting federal agencies?”

“What is Project 2025, and why does it read like a fascist Mad Libs?”

“Why is DOGE run by a ketamine-fueled space baron with an enemies list?”

But no—don’t look over there!

 Don’t look at the surveillance state he’s building!

 Don’t look at the ICE raids, the banned books, the military purges, the collapsing courts.

LOOK OVER HERE INSTEAD!

 🎩✨ “Look, kids, Joe Biden’s a clone! Like Star Wars, but boring!”

 Ta-da!

He’s running the world’s most dangerous distraction campaign:

Weaponized Idiocy.

You know what happens when you get enough people to believe a lie that fucking big?

 You don’t just erode truth.

You erase it.

And once the truth’s gone, anything goes.

 You can say the Pope’s an AI.

 You can say gravity’s a hoax.

 You can say elections are rigged, votes don’t matter, judges are fake, and facts are for liberals.

And when reality becomes optional—so does democracy.

George out.

 And if your big re-election strategy involves screaming “Clone!” like it’s Scooby-Doo and not the fucking presidency, you’re not leading a country.

 You’re LARPing a dictatorship.

 And the rest of us?

We’re stuck in your goddamn campaign fanfic.