DISCLAMER:

 This rant is brought to you by the Department of Flags and Feelings. Please surrender your rainbows, empathy, and decorative fonts at the door. Your emotional support poster is now a federal offense. George is back, and he’s got questions. Mainly: Are you people out of your goddamn minds?

Well well well, Idaho. You absolute unit of performative insecurity.

You’ve finally done it. You outlawed welcome.

Not fentanyl. Not school shootings. Not poverty.

You took one look at a sign that said “Everyone is Welcome Here” and said, “NOPE. That’s too much love for a learning environment.”

Because, apparently, inclusion is now a partisan agenda.

Let’s unpack this banana split of bullshit together, shall we?

A teacher—who, by the way, didn’t even start teaching until 2020—puts up a sign with some friendly fonts and colorful hands that say “Everyone is Welcome Here.”

Pretty standard stuff in a public school, right?

Wrong.

Enter Idaho’s latest contribution to Orwell’s Greatest Hits: House Bill 41, which bans anything that might contain… hold onto your ass… opinions, emotions, or beliefs.

Well damn, better fire the guidance counselors. That sounds suspiciously human.

The state’s Attorney General—who apparently moonlights as a literary critic for feelings—decided that this sign is part of a “social movement” born in Minnesota, and therefore, it’s not a statement of humanity.

It’s propaganda.

Oh sure, let’s all pretend this is about neutrality.

As if “You Belong” is the opening volley in a Marxist insurrection.

As if “All Are Welcome” is code for “VOTE BLUE OR DIE.”

Meanwhile, the law is so vague it might as well have been written by a Roomba on Ambien.

“Flags that depict emotions, beliefs, or thoughts are banned.”

Okay, Karen, guess we’re banning the Star-Spangled Banner now. That’s got feelings all over it.

And the best part?

The sign only became a “Democratic Party fundraising item” after the right-wing freakout went national.

So… let me get this straight.

You threw a tantrum so loud it made the sign political, and now you’re banning it because it’s political.

That’s like punching yourself in the face and suing the mirror.

Let’s not forget: this came from the same ideological clown car that spends all day screaming about “cancel culture.”

But let a teacher put up a sign that says “Don’t be a dick,” and suddenly the First Amendment is a bridge too far.

And what’s next, Idaho?

Confiscating kindness at the border?

Cavity searches for compassion?

Here’s a wild thought: if a poster about inclusion makes your political party feel threatened, maybe—just maybe—you’re on the wrong side of the Welcome Mat.

So go ahead, outlaw love.

Ban the hugs.

Waterboard the crayons while you’re at it.

But know this:

You didn’t outlaw kindness.

You confirmed it’s resistance.