Disclaimer:

This is a satirical performance, Carlin-style — if you’re offended, congratulations, you’re still capable of human feelings, unlike these bastards in power.

So the latest shell game out of Washington goes like this: FOTUS takes half a billion dollars, waves it around, and says, “Look at me! I’m the champion of Black colleges! See how much I love HBCUs!”

And yeah, the schools on that list deserve the money — they’ve been underfunded and screwed over for decades. But here’s the trick: he didn’t conjure up new money out of thin air. No, he yanked it straight out of other schools — mostly Hispanic-serving institutions, Asian-serving institutions, minority programs in BLUE states. California alone just watched funding for 171 colleges vanish. That’s millions of dollars ripped away from kids who are already fighting uphill battles, so Donnie can strut into Atlanta or Houston and pretend he’s Dr. King with a gold toilet.

This isn’t education policy. This is electioneering with a side of racism.

Because what’s really happening here? He’s funneling money into red-state voter blocs he thinks he can flip, while gutting blue-state institutions full of brown kids he’s already written off. Black votes matter if they can save his ass in Georgia. Latino votes? Asian votes? Fuck ‘em. They’re the bogeymen in his campaign ads. ICE is already harassing citizens in Texas and Arizona for “looking suspicious,” and now their schools get kneecapped too.

And let’s not forget the “reason” for the cuts. They called those grants “discriminatory” because they were tied to minority enrollment thresholds. Are you fucking kidding me? The whole point was to help schools where minorities were shut out for generations. That’s like saying giving a wheelchair ramp is “unfair to stairs.”

This is the war on education in full bloom. First they starve public schools, then they dump money into charter schools, then they slash HSI funding while pretending to “boost excellence.” And when the next generation of kids comes out undereducated, over-policed, and buried in debt, the same assholes will shake their heads and say, “Guess those people just aren’t working hard enough.”

And Susan Collins and her pearl-clutching friends will write a “strongly worded letter” — oh thank you, Senator, maybe staple it to a box of expired food aid while you’re at it. Meanwhile, the billions keep flowing away from actual students to whatever makes FOTUS look like a benevolent god-king on a campaign stop.

So yeah — half a billion for HBCUs, great. But don’t fall for the con. It’s not generosity, it’s theft with a smile. It’s robbing blue to bribe red. It’s selective charity in the middle of a racist voter-suppression campaign. And the long game? Keep people uneducated, keep them scared, keep them easy to control. Because smart kids with books are a hell of a lot more dangerous to this regime than dumb kids with TikTok.

Fuck FOTUS. Fuck his war on education. And fuck every single bastard in Congress who lets him keep playing “musical chairs” with school funding while entire communities get their futures torched for votes.