⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER - FOR FLAG-LOVERS AND FASCIST WHISPERERS ALIKE

 This is satire. This is political commentary. This is the rhetorical equivalent of a fire extinguisher in a burning clown car. While based on real-world events, it is delivered in the voice of the late George Carlin: sharp, profane, pissed off, and absolutely done with your dog whistles and doublespeak. If you're offended, you might just be the target.

Oh, look! Two shiny flagpoles, 88 feet tall! Because nothing screams patriotism like numerology-based Nazi cosplay.

Let’s be clear: this wasn’t a construction error. Nobody walks into a planning meeting and accidentally says, “Let’s make the poles the same height as two ‘Heil Hitlers’ back to back!” That’s not an oversight. That’s an overbite and a tiki torch away from a Klan meeting.

Now, if you're still sitting there going, “But maybe it's a coincidence!”—sweetheart, coincidences don’t hold press conferences.

Because let’s remember: this is the guy who called white supremacists “very fine people.” Who launched his campaign talking about rapists and “bad hombres.” Who wanted to ban Muslims, jail protestors, and send ICE to churches like he was playing Whac-A-Mole with the Constitution. This guy didn’t trip over 88 feet—he stomped up it in jackboots.

And if you're still giving him the benefit of the doubt? Then you’re not naïve. You’re complicit.

It’s not just a number. It’s a message. A big, dumb, racist bat-signal to the frothing masses who wear Don’t Tread on Me shirts while goose-stepping into school board meetings.

And the real kicker? He flew Old Glory on those 88-foot poles like she wasn’t gagged and tied to a folding chair in the back of a van labeled “Heritage, Not Hate.”

So congratulations, FOTUS. You managed to take the stars and stripes and turn them into a QR code for white nationalism.

Next up? Matching lawn gnomes shaped like Robert E. Lee flipping the bird. Why not? You’ve already burned the country down—may as well roast marshmallows on the ashes.