⚠️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Now With 2,262 Posts and Counting!):

 This is a fictional stage rant delivered in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin, written as political satire. If you're the type who believes that a flurry of late-night social media posts constitutes effective governance, you might want to reconsider your news sources. 

🎤 [Spotlight on. George stalks the stage, mic in hand, middle finger practically twitching.]

Hey, I got a question.

When the fuck did the Commander-in-Chief turn into a middle schooler with unlimited Wi-Fi and no bedtime?!

This guy is up at 2:00 in the goddamn morning hammering out post after post like the meth fairy just left him a fresh bag of inspiration. Two thousand two hundred posts in a hundred days? That’s not a presidential schedule, that’s a cry for help.

He’s not leading a nation, folks—he’s live-blogging a breakdown!

And what’s he posting? Conspiracies, rage-farts, and shit your drunk uncle would get banned for on Facebook. One minute it’s “Biden’s a clone,” the next it’s “The deep state stole my pudding cup.” It’s like Infowars crashed into a Home Shopping Network rerun, and now it’s stuck on autoplay.

And the best part? He owns the fucking platform.

 So every unhinged brain burp?

Cha-ching.

 That’s right—he’s turning unfiltered lunacy into stock value. He’s monetizing the apocalypse one caps-locked tantrum at a time!

This isn’t leadership. This is what happens when you give a toddler a megaphone and tell him he’s King of the Free World. The only thing he’s leading is the race to rock bottom—and buddy, he’s breaking land-speed records.

So when you see the next “urgent truth alert” about Biden’s robot brain or the ghost of JFK endorsing Trump from inside a vape cloud, do yourself a favor—

Don’t repost. Don’t engage. Just laugh, flip him off, and go hug someone with a goddamn soul.

Because the rest of us?

We’re stuck in a group chat we never asked to join, watching Grandpa scream into the void.

🧾 LEGAL DISCLAIMER (Now Featuring Mood Stabilizers):

 This is political satire. Any resemblance to rational leadership is purely coincidental and likely hallucinated by people who think a string of unverified posts counts as evidence. Consult your doctor if symptoms of authoritarianism persist.