📢 SNARKY DISCLAIMER:

 The following program is brought to you by the Ministry of Make-Believe Morality, sponsored by fragile egos, Fox News, and people who think truth, justice, and the American Way should come with a birth certificate and a wall. Viewer discretion advised. Especially if you’ve never met a metaphor.

So let me get this straight…

Superman—the flying Boy Scout in a blue bodysuit, the one who shoots lasers from his eyes and can juggle buildings—is now too controversial for MAGA America.

Why?

Because James Gunn had the absolute gall to say what anyone with a functioning brain and a first-grade reading level already knew:

Superman is an immigrant.

Well no shit, Sherlock. The guy crash-landed in Kansas in a goddamn rocket ship, not a Ford F-150! Didn’t come through customs, didn’t apply for a visa, didn’t stop at Ellis Island for a selfie. He showed up wrapped in a space-blanket, no documentation, no Earth ID, and still managed to be more American than half the Congress.

But now? Now that the guy in charge of the cape is talking about kindness and human decency as core traits, the right-wing media bubble bursts into full meltdown mode.

“Superwoke!” they cry.

“Political!” they shriek.

“He’s not OUR Superman!” they sob between spoonfuls of Freedom Fries.

Oh, so now you care about immigrants, huh? Funny how that works when the alien’s wearing spandex instead of crossing the border on foot.

These people want a Superman who stands for strength and power and dominance. You know—authoritarian cosplay. They don’t want the immigrant kid from a destroyed world who believes in helping people. They want the Superman who enforces curfews and punches down.

But that’s not who Clark Kent is.

Clark Kent is the guy who grows up on a farm, learns compassion from his parents, and becomes a symbol of what’s possible when the outsider is welcomed, not feared. He’s not MAGA’s Superman. He’s Ellis Island’s Superman.

And now these Fox-fed toddlers are pissed because the truth makes them feel small.

“Oh no! Superman values kindness? That’s propaganda!”

 No, dipshit. That’s aspiration. That’s what stories are for. To tell us we can be better, not just louder.

And let’s talk about the irony here:

 These are the same people who shout “patriotism!” while losing their minds that a guy in a cape might represent America’s immigrant roots. They wave flags made in China while clutching pearls over the alien from Krypton not passing their purity test.

Here’s a newsflash, numbnuts:

 If you’re triggered by Superman being nice, it’s not the comic book that’s the problem—it’s your insecurity.

Because Superman’s not supposed to be a cop, or a soldier, or your fantasy fascist in tights. He’s not your boot-stomping Jesus. He’s the guy who saves people. Without checking their paperwork.

So yeah—Superman’s an immigrant.

 Undocumented. Unapologetic. And still better at being human than half of Congress.

 He’s not “woke,”

 He’s awake.

And if that threatens your idea of America, maybe you’re not the patriot you think you are.

 You’re just another scared little bully, crying because the alien has a bigger heart than you ever will.

Kiss the S shield, kids. It still stands for hope. 🖕