Disclaimer: This ain’t journalism, it’s George Carlin with a baseball bat. If you came for polite analysis, go find C-SPAN. If you want to watch the bullshit get scraped off with a rusty shovel, sit down.

First they came for the numbers.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics delayed its consumer-spending report because the numbers made Trump look bad.

Math is now partisan. Two plus two equals whatever Dear Leader says.

Then they came for the hunger stats.

The USDA killed the food security report. Because if you don’t count the hungry, the hungry don’t exist.

And when you slash food stamps by $186 billion, it looks better on paper if you burned the paper.

Next stop? Journalism.

At the Pentagon, if your story isn’t pre-approved, your press badge is gone.

That’s not “protecting national security.” That’s a hostage situation with a flag on top.

And let’s not forget the corruption.

The FBI catches Trump’s border czar taking $50,000 in a sting. Evidence in hand. What happens? Investigation closed. Case buried.

That’s not law and order. That’s “crime is fine if it’s on my side.”

Meanwhile, prosecutors who won’t indict Trump’s enemies on command get shown the door. Reporters who make jokes get threatened. Comedians who laugh in the wrong direction get called illegal.

See the pattern yet?

Every inconvenient truth is erased. Every critic gets chased.

Don’t report hunger, don’t release stats, don’t question the Pentagon, don’t investigate the loyal crooks, don’t laugh at the king.

This isn’t about cutting costs or keeping secrets. It’s about control. Control of information, which means control of reality.

If they decide what you can see, they decide what you can believe.

And if they decide what you can believe, congratulations—you’re living in a dictatorship with golden toilets.