⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER (Because We Have To)

 The following is a satirical commentary inspired by real-world events, filtered through the hypothetical, unfiltered voice of the late George Carlin. It does not represent the views of any political candidate, living or undead. Any resemblance to real egos, orange or otherwise, is purely coincidental. No movie studios were harmed in the making of this rant—though several brain cells were. Reader discretion advised. Strong language, stronger opinions, and absolutely no patience for bullshit.

🎤 “THE SEVEN WORDS YOU CAN’T SAY IN THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION”

In the voice of George f**ing Carlin.*

You know, once upon a time, there were seven words you couldn’t say on television. Remember those? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. Beautiful, simple. Words with bounce. With flavor. You felt those words in your molars.

But now? Now we got a whole new list, folks. It ain’t about curse words anymore—it’s about ideas. Concepts. Things that might cause a snowflake to melt—but not the liberal kind, no no. These snowflakes are red, white, and fragile as fuck.

So here they are, folks—the Seven Words You Can’t Say in the Trump Administration.

1. Diversity

 Can’t say it. Might suggest that people who aren’t white or aren’t men or don’t want to shoot things for fun actually matter. Can’t have that! That word walks into the room and suddenly Uncle Racist at Thanksgiving starts sweating into his MAGA bib.

2. Climate Change

 Nope. Doesn’t exist. Never did. Was invented by the Chinese. Or Greta Thunberg. Or maybe it’s just a liberal plot to make people recycle and stop setting the ocean on fire. Either way, don’t say it, or Exxon cries into its billion-dollar bailout.

3. Transgender

 OH no. You say that word in certain states now and your book gets banned, your show gets pulled, and Marjorie Taylor Greene starts speaking in tongues on the floor of Congress. Because acknowledging that gender isn't binary is apparently more dangerous than AR-15s at a kindergarten.

4. Science-Based

 Sorry, sweetheart. We go with “faith-based,” “gut-feeling-based,” or “bullshit-I-read-on-Facebook-based” now. Science is elitist. It wears glasses. It uses big words. It makes you get a shot instead of chugging bleach like a Real American™.

5. Evidence-Based

 What kind of nerd shit is that? Evidence?! What happened to instinct? To raw animal MAGA rage? You think Lincoln freed the slaves using “evidence”? Hell no! He had a feeling. (Okay, also the Civil War, but let’s not complicate things with facts, that’s also banned.)

6. Vulnerable

 You can’t say “vulnerable.” That implies somebody needs help. Or worse—protection. But under this crowd? If you’re vulnerable, you’d better learn to bootstrap your way out of a hurricane, a pandemic, AND a food desert, all while praying to the free market.

7. Fetus

 This one’s special. Because you can only say “fetus” if you’re trying to control one. Otherwise, it’s “baby.” It's always a baby, even if it's the size of a Tic Tac and doesn’t have a brain yet. But if you're pregnant and poor? Suddenly that "baby" becomes a legal hostage with a court date.

And here’s the thing, folks. This list? It ain’t final. They’re adding words like it’s a goddamn dystopian Scrabble game.

Can’t say:

• “Non-binary” (That’s two strikes: too queer and too mathy)
• “Intersectionality” (Sounds too much like you read a book once)
• “Entitlement” (They think it means poor people want food. Newsflash: you’re entitled to basic dignity, not just tax breaks for yachts)
• “Socialism” (Unless it’s Medicare, Social Security, the military, corn subsidies, and corporate bailouts—that’s the good kind of socialism)

🎤 Carlin’s Encore 

“You know what all these words have in common? They make small-minded assholes uncomfortable. They poke the beast. They threaten the fantasy that America is a Norman Rockwell painting with guns.But fuck that. I like words. All the words. The nasty ones, the smart ones, the foreign ones, the ones they don’t want you to use. Because when they ban words, what they’re really banning… is thinking. And if you stop thinking, you start saluting.And once you start saluting, next thing you know you’re on a goddamn train headed for a gulag wearing a red hat made in China.”