⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER (Filed Under “You Can’t Ban What You Don’t Understand”):

 This is a George Carlin–style rant. It doesn’t speak for the Carlin estate, Congress, or your local angry PTA. It does speak for everyone who’s ever read a book, loved someone “the wrong way,” or touched themselves in the dark and didn’t feel ashamed afterward.

THE OBSCENITY BILL: CLEANING UP AMERICA, ONE FREEDOM AT A TIME

 So now they’re pushing the Interstate Obscenity Definition Act. Sounds important, doesn’t it?

 Like it’s going to protect children from an epidemic of flaming dildos in kindergarten story time.

But here’s what it actually is:

It’s not a bill about obscenity.

 It’s a bill about obedience.

Because if there’s one thing the American far-right hates more than brown people voting, it’s people having sex they didn’t approve with someone they don’t understand in a book they haven’t read.

📚 SO WHAT’S AT RISK?

 They say it’s to stop “porn.”

 You know, that vast online sea of simulated orgasms and suspicious pizza delivery men.

But what about:

• A romance novel with a steamy scene between consenting adults?
• A YA book where a queer teen discovers their identity?
• A literary memoir about surviving abuse and reclaiming sexuality?

If it “gratifies sexual desire” and someone somewhere says “ew”—it’s on the chopping block.

This bill gives the government the power to decide what has “serious literary value.”

You trust Congress with that?

These are the same people who think The Handmaid’s Tale is a documentary… about utopia.

🙃 WHERE DOES IT STOP?

 Short answer:

It doesn’t.

Because once you say this sex is “obscene,” then that kind of love is “obscene,”  and those bodies are “obscene,”  and suddenly you’re walking around in a country where holding hands in public gets flagged by the morality police.

This isn’t about porn.

It’s about purity.

 It’s about legislating a very specific vision of Christian heterosexual nationalism—and if your life doesn’t match the pamphlet from your pastor’s glovebox, then you’re the problem.

🧠 BUT HERE’S THE CARLINICALLY OBVIOUS TRUTH:

 These people don’t give a shit about protecting children.

 They care about protecting themselves from discomfort.

They don’t want to admit that the world is complicated.

 That people fall in love with the “wrong” people.

 That sex isn’t shameful.

 That stories matter even when they aren’t about white men in power suits quoting Leviticus.

So what do they do?

They write laws.

 They write vague, slippery, moralistic laws that can ban anything, silence anyone, and turn every librarian and bookseller into a potential felon.

🎤 WWGS: What Would George Say?

 “When the people in charge of your laws are more afraid of a naked body than a loaded gun, you’ve got a country run by cowards, priests, and perverts. And sometimes all three in one.”

So yeah.

 The Interstate Obscenity Definition Act?

 It’s not about obscenity.

It’s about control.

Because if they can ban what turns you on...

they’re one step closer to banning what makes you you.