Legal Disclaimer: This is a work of satirical commentary, protected under the First Amendment — at least until some orange-faced dictator decides the Constitution is “too woke.” It targets public figures and public policies, not your Aunt Susan who still thinks Trump’s “mean tweets” were leadership. If you’re offended, congratulations — you’re part of the fucking problem.

You know what the Presidential Medal of Freedom used to mean? Because it meant something.

It meant you changed the world — for everyone. Martin Luther King Jr. got one. Rosa Parks. Mother Teresa. Jane Goodall. Fred fucking Rogers. People who actually gave a damn.

They made life better for humanity — not their brand, not their base, not their fucking podcast subscribers.

But now? Now it’s the Presidential Medal of Fascination — handed out by Donald “Dictator-for-Dummies” Trump to whoever can yell “MAGA” the loudest without spraining a neuron.

Let’s take a look at some of the recent honorees, shall we?

Rush Limbaugh. 

Yeah. The guy who made a career calling women “sluts,” mocking AIDS victims, and peddling more conspiracy theories than Alex Jones on meth. He got the highest civilian honor in America. You know who didn’t? Fred Hampton. Dolores Huerta. Bayard Rustin. But sure, let’s pin a medal on a talk-radio troll who thought empathy was a communist plot.

Then there’s Miriam Adelson.

A billionaire casino heiress whose main contribution to society was funding Trump’s campaign and single-handedly keeping the GOP flush with gambling money and moral bankruptcy. Apparently, “making America great again” means buying it wholesale.

And don’t forget Jim Jordan.

Yeah, that Jim Jordan — the shouty gym teacher from the Church of Selective Memory, who helped try to overturn a democratic election. He got a medal too! Because nothing says “freedom” like aiding and abetting an attempted coup.

Trump wants to hand one to Rudy Giuliani.

You remember Rudy — America’s Mayor turned Walking Deposition Exhibit A. He’s been disbarred, sued, indicted, and drunk on national television more often than a Real Housewife. But in Trumpworld, that’s not disqualifying — that’s a résumé.

And now, the pièce de résistance: Charlie Kirk.

Turning Point USA’s pint-sized propagandist, the guy who turned youth outreach into fascist cosplay. He gets a posthumous Medal of Freedom. Why? Because he spent his short, loud life convincing teenagers that empathy is for losers and that democracy is optional if you whine hard enough.

See, this isn’t about honor. It’s about ownership. Trump’s remaking the Medal of Freedom into the MAGA Hall of Fame — a participation trophy for cruelty, conspiracy, and conservative cosplay.

Used to be, you got the Medal for what you gave to the world. Now you get it for what you take away: truth, decency, compassion, history, facts. And every time he pins one on another sycophant, the meaning dies a little more.

He’s not honoring heroes — he’s laundering reputations. He’s turning the highest civilian award into a campaign sticker. And every slobbering red-hat who cheers it thinks, “Finally, someone who tells it like it is.” Yeah — like it is in a fucking dictatorship.

Here’s the truth, folks: The Medal of Freedom was supposed to unite the country by celebrating its best. Now it divides us by celebrating our worst.

Rush, Rudy, Jim, Charlie — these aren’t patriots. They’re mascots for America’s moral decline. And when Trump wraps that medal around their necks, it doesn’t shine. It tarnishes.

Because the more he hands them out, the more obvious it becomes —this isn’t the Medal of Freedom anymore.

It’s the Merit Badge for Fascism.