Legal Disclaimer: This is satire in the style of George Carlin. It’s about public people and public words. If you’re clutching pearls or campaign checks—good. That means the shoes fucking fit.

So here we are. The next generation of “patriots,” the shiny-faced heirs of Reagan, chanting the same old hymns with new emojis. These are the kids they said would “take back America.” Well, mission accomplished—they’ve taken it back to 1938.

They call it “Young Republicans.” Cute name. Sounds like a Boy Scout troop that sells tax cuts instead of cookies. But peel the label off and it’s the same fermented hate brew that’s been aging since Strom Thurmond was still jogging. They talk about “saving America,” but the only thing they’re saving is screenshots for their future indictments.

They said the quiet part loud and the loud part in group chat. “Gas chambers.” “Rape is epic.” “I love Hitler.” You can almost smell the moral rot through the Wi-Fi. These aren’t dog whistles anymore—this is the goddamn PA system at Auschwitz.

And then come the apologies. “Oh, I was taken out of context.” Buddy, 28,000 messages is the context. That’s not a misunderstanding; that’s a manifesto with bad spelling.

You know what this is? 

This is the result of thirty years of gaslighting. The party spent decades flirting with fascists, winking at racists, and saying, “Oh, come on, they’re just joking.”

Yeah—just joking the same way a firing squad jokes about aim.

They told the kids: Don’t be ashamed of saying what you believe.

And the kids said, Cool! We believe minorities are subhuman.

Then the adults said, Wait, not out loud!

Too late, Grandpa—your moral filter died in the ‘90s with your pension plan.

This isn’t the fringe. This is the succession plan. They’re not “bad apples”; they’re the whole orchard, proudly rotting in formation. Every “edgy” joke, every slur passed around like communion wine, is a blueprint for the next law to strip someone else’s humanity.

“Free speech,” they cry. Yeah, you’re free to say it.

You’re also free to face the echo when the rest of us say: Fuck that noise.

And while they scream about “cancel culture,” remember—these are the same people who want to cancel books, teachers, women, science, and basic empathy.

They call it “taking America back.”

I call it “cosplay for cowards.”

You can’t build a future on hate, boys.

You can’t fix the economy with gas chamber jokes.

You can’t preach morality while jerking off to genocide memes.

You’re not patriots; you’re pyromaniacs in red hats, and the rest of us are sick of paying for your matches.

So here’s your mirror, kids. Smile for your yearbook photo—it’s titled “Authoritarianism: The Next Generation.”

You wanted power? Congratulations. You’ve inherited the family business: fear, lies, and the eternal persecution complex.

But the rest of us?

We’re not buying it.

We’re the new resistance, the cleanup crew with mops made of sunlight. So keep your gaslight—we brought the sun.