Disclaimer: This isn’t diplomacy, this is George Carlin with a chainsaw. You want polite talk about “frameworks” and “confidence-building measures”? Go watch C-SPAN. This is about how Trump tried to sell the planet a timeshare in hell.
Trump waddles into the United Nations and drops his big shiny “21-point plan to end the Israel-Hamas war.” Twenty-one points! Sounds impressive, right? Like he’s got binders full of peace. Spoiler: it’s horseshit. It’s not a plan, it’s a PowerPoint with bullet points that say “Everyone play nice” and “Stop being terrorists.”
What’s the first big move? Hamas disarms. Sure. And I want a unicorn that shits pizza rolls. Then Israel pulls out of Gaza, as long as everybody agrees. Which they won’t. Then Gaza becomes a “deradicalized terror-free zone.” That’s not a plan, that’s a fucking marketing slogan. You can see the brochure: Come to Gaza! Now with 30% less terrorism! Family-friendly rates, pool towels included!
And let’s not forget, this is the same guy who used to talk about turning Gaza into beachfront real estate. A little bulldozing, a little Trump gold plating, and boom—Mar-A-Gaza! Maybe slap a giant neon sign: Trump Gaza Hotel & Casino. Buffet opens at noon, try the falafel station. He doesn’t see people, he sees property. He doesn’t see lives, he sees land values.
And here’s the real kick in the nuts: this “peace plan” is anti-Semitism dressed up in a tuxedo. Because if the plan fails, Israel gets blamed for not agreeing. If the plan succeeds, Israel loses security, loses leverage, and gets boxed into concessions no sane government would make. It’s a lose-lose deal where the Jews end up with the bill. That’s the Trump guarantee: heads he wins, tails you get screwed.
Meanwhile, the Arab states are supposed to kick in money, the Palestinians are supposed to magically “deradicalize,” and Trump gets to strut around shouting “I made peace in the Middle East!” like a toddler waving a crayon drawing. This isn’t peacemaking. This is extortion with a comb-over.
And let’s be clear: the world sees it. He strutted into the UN, lied his ass off, waved this 21-point fantasy like it was scripture, and every delegate in the room knew it was bullshit. Because you can’t gaslight the planet. But Trump tried. Because in his head, this isn’t diplomacy—it’s branding. He’s trying to sell Gaza like it’s another shitty golf course in Jersey.
This isn’t peace. This is the same Trump con as always: a hollow deal, a scam wrapped in flags, and a payoff waiting for his cronies. And at the end of the day, the only thing he’s ever serious about building is another Trump Tower—with your lives as the down payment.