⚖️ Legal Disclaimer

 This is a satirical commentary in the unmistakable, uncensored voice of George Carlin: smart, pissed off, and swinging. If you're offended by words more than by policies that hurt people? Congratulations—you’re the reason this rant exists.

This targets public figures and public policy. If you're upset, talk to your conscience—or better yet, your senator.

🎤 "Tesla's Autopilot: The Road Runner's New Best Friend"

 So, a Tesla on Autopilot recently crashed into a wall painted to look like an open road—just like in those old Wile E. Coyote cartoons. You know, the ones where the coyote paints a tunnel on a rock, and the Road Runner zips through it, but the coyote smashes into it? Yeah, that one.

Now, you'd think a car that's supposed to be the pinnacle of modern technology wouldn't fall for a Looney Tunes gag. But here we are. Tesla's Autopilot, relying solely on cameras, couldn't tell the difference between a real road and a painted wall. 

It's like giving a toddler a driver's license and saying, "Good luck!" But hey, at least the toddler might recognize a wall when they see one.

And Elon Musk? He's out there promising Full Self-Driving capabilities, while his cars are out here playing bumper cars with painted walls. Maybe instead of launching rockets to Mars, we should focus on making sure our cars can tell the difference between a road and a cartoon.

But don't worry, Tesla fans will say, "It's just a beta test!" Right, because beta testing should involve real people on real roads with real consequences. Makes perfect sense.

In the end, if your self-driving car can't tell the difference between a road and a wall, maybe it's not ready to drive itself. Maybe it's just a very expensive toy that needs adult supervision.