⚠️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Selective Enforcement Edition – Now with Extra Hypocrisy)
This is a fictional rant in the voice of George Carlin. If you think targeting ICE raids at liberal cities is just “law enforcement,” hold onto your empathy—it’s about power, not public safety.
So let me get this straight.
FOTUS just tweeted an order to ICE: “Go hard and heavy”—but only in Democrat-run cities. Los Angeles, Chicago, New York—sanctuary strongholds where millions of undocumented people live. Because that's where Democrats cheat elections and fatten welfare rolls—or so he claims.
Never mind the half a billion-dollar ICE deficit or protests under “No Kings.” Nope. Just mass deportation in liberal zip codes, starting now.
Meanwhile, **agriculture, hospitality, hotels—**all his donors’ damn playground—get a free pass. No raids. No arrests. No fear. Why? Because strikes on undocumented workers there would hurt the industries that fund him.
Selective enforcement, baby. The classic move: punish opponents, reward allies. That's not policy. It’s political thuggery.
Let’s break it down:
- Mass raids in Blue cities—intended to terrify communities and sway public mood.
- No action in Red zones—because farms and hotel chains need workers, and those folks write checks.
- Deploy National Guard, call it protection—but let me tell you, protection for whom? Not their neighbors, but their own photo ops.
- Claiming “largest deportation in history”—without a shred of public safety logic. Just a generational stunt.
So here’s what we got: the same old story—law enforcement that only works if it helps you keep power. ‘Go get them in Chicago—but not Hunter’s hotel or Farmer Don’s fields!’
That’s not justice. That's a punishment pill, coated in red-white-and-blue propaganda.
They're calling it ‘remigration.’ But you wanna know what it is? It's modern-day political payback.
You didn’t vote for him? You get rounded up. You did? You get job security.
Think this is about law? It’s not even about immigration.
It’s about revenge. One leash for the favored few, another for the rest.
⚖️ Legal Red Flags?
Selective enforcement goes straight off the rails of due process and equal protection. You can’t just deport entire cities because they lean left. Courts might roll their eyes at this stunt—but in the meantime, people are terrorized, families torn, workers vanishing.
🎯 Final Hit:
This isn’t about securing borders.
It’s about punishing cities that don’t kneel.
It’s about feeding his base with cruelty, while cozying up to his donors.
And don’t call it immigration—call it a political payoff with people instead of cash.
