⚠ Legal-Sounding Disclaimer
This performance is protected under the “Don’t Sue Me for Pointing Out the Obvious” clause of the Common Sense Constitution. Any resemblance to actual events is entirely intentional. We’re not making fun of the people — just the power structure that’s been huffing its own exhaust.
You hear about this one?
The federal government — and I mean THE federal government, the big shiny one with the nuclear football — decided to SUE an entire court. Not a judge. Not a clerk.
No — they sued all the judges in the U.S. District Court for Maryland.
Why? Because those judges had the gall — the unmitigated audacity — to take forty-eight whole business hours before deporting someone.
Yeah. Two days.
Not two weeks. Not two years.
Two. Freakin’. Days.
Apparently that’s “judicial overreach” now.
Used to be called “reading the damn case file.”
And they didn’t just complain — no, no. They hired lawyers, printed out the paperwork, and actually filed the lawsuit.
It’s like suing the umpire in the middle of the baseball game because he wouldn’t call a strike while you were still winding up the pitch.
And get this — the judges fire back with Paul Clement. Yeah, that Paul Clement — conservative legal superstar. They say: “This lawsuit? Unprecedented. Unconstitutional. Separation of powers. Judicial immunity. Go pound sand.”
And then — I love this — they call the whole thing “rather rich.”
That’s judge-speak for “you’ve got some big brass ones, pal.”
Meanwhile, the Executive Branch is acting like the courthouse is a Denny’s at two in the morning.
They want to roll in whenever they want, order up a “deportation slam,” hold the due process, and have it on the table in five minutes.
And the judges are saying, “Sure, we’ll cook it up — but we’re still gonna look at the damn order before we serve it.”
And here’s the dangerous part — If this stunt works, they can do it again. Next time? Sue an appellate court. Hell, why not the Supreme Court? “Sorry, your honors, we don’t like your ruling, so here’s a summons. See you in your courtroom — bring your own gavel.”
Even Scalia — Scalia! — said “Trust us” isn’t good enough. And he was the guy you’d expect to buy two gavel cozies.
Because this isn’t “law and order.”
This is lawless order — where the guy with the badge writes the rules, rewrites the rules, then sues the rulebook for existing.
They don’t want coequal branches of government — they want a one-man band where all three branches are playing the same tune.
And when that happens?
You don’t have a democracy.
You’ve got a very fancy Denny’s…
…where the menu only has one item: Whatever the hell the chef feels like serving.