⚠️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

 This is a satirical rant in the voice and style of the late George Carlin. It is a fictional performance and does not represent real statements by Carlin or any living person. If you are a former Congresswoman, current intelligence overlord, or newly-minted autocrat with hurt feelings… you’ll be fine.

George Says: “YOU KNOW WHAT SHE IS? SHE’S THE TRIFECTA.”

Stupid.

 Full of shit.

 And fucking nuts.

Let’s start with stupid.

 You fire your top intelligence analysts…

 for telling the truth.

 Not because they were wrong.

 Not because they were lying.

 But because their report didn’t match the bedtime story Donnie Dictator wants to read before his next rally.

You know how stupid that is?

 That’s like firing your doctor because you don’t like the cancer diagnosis.

 “That tumor is woke! Get me a second opinion from a chiropractor with a flag pin!”

Now.

Full of shit.

 Tulsi says she wants to “depoliticize” intelligence.

 By purging everyone who disagrees with her.

 That’s not depoliticizing.

 That’s cleansing.

 That’s a word usually followed by “ethnic” and a whole lot of UN paperwork.

She says Venezuela runs the gang.

 Intel says they don’t.

 So she fires the intel.

 That’s not analysis. That’s fan fiction with a security clearance.

And you know what makes it worse?

 She used to be a Democrat.

 Which means she didn’t just flip sides—

She flipped universes.

 We went from “Surfs in Hawaii” to “Surfs the fascist timeline.”

Now.

 Let’s finish with fucking nuts.

 Because you have to be completely unhinged to think this is okay.

 To think gutting the National Intelligence Council like a fish

 is somehow gonna keep America safe.

What’s next?

 Replacing the CIA with a group chat of InfoWars interns?

 Letting the Pentagon stream on Rumble?

 Sending QAnon cosplay squads to brief NATO?

I’ve seen better judgment in a Florida meth lab.

Let me say it plain:

When you fire experts for contradicting your fairy tale, you don’t run a government.

 You run a cult.

 And when you do it while smiling in front of the flag?

That’s treason wrapped in polyester.

George out.

Watch your back, Tulsi. Reality's got a longer memory than Trump’s last marriage.