⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER (Filed Under “Kiss My Asparagus”):

 This is a satire-laced rant written in the spirit of George Carlin. It represents the opinions of no one officially, except maybe the ghost of every pissed-off working-class hero who's ever had to count pennies at the grocery store while Congress debates their worth. Strong language. Stronger opinions. No apologies.

SNAP JUDGMENTS: STARVE THE POOR, FEED THE BASE

 You wanna know what the GOP’s real plan is?

It’s simple.

Take food off your table and tell you it’s for your own good.

 Then shove a tax break down your throat and call it “trickle-down nutrition.”

Right now, they’re trying to gut SNAP—again. Because of course they are.

 They say it’s about fraud, personal responsibility, lazy people gaming the system.

 But really?

It’s about one thing:

Cruelty.

Cruelty dressed up in spreadsheets and PowerPoints.

 Cruelty cosplaying as fiscal policy.

💵 THEY WANT TO CUT SNAP...

 By $230 billion over nine years

• Add more work requirements, including for seniors and parents
• Force states to cover more costs if the feds think they messed up paperwork
• And yes—make it even harder for non-citizens, including asylum seekers, to qualify

Because nothing says “Christian values” like letting a refugee mother skip meals so she can feed her toddler and still get told she’s a leech on the system.

🧾 BUT LET’S BE CLEAR...

 SNAP fraud is lower than a congressman’s ethics score.

 It’s about 1%. One. Percent.

You know what has higher fraud rates?

Defense contractors. Corporate tax filings. Campaign finance disclosures.

But you don’t see them kicking Lockheed Martin off the gravy train.

 Nope.

 They just want to punish the lady with three jobs who buys rice, beans, and peanut butter with an EBT card.

🌍 AND IF YOU’RE NOT A CITIZEN?

 If you’re:

• A refugee fleeing war
• An asylum seeker
• A legal resident just trying to keep your family alive?

Well buckle up, because now the GOP wants to make it harder for you, too.

 They’ll hand you a “Welcome to America” flyer with one hand and rip your grocery money out of the other.

Because in their version of patriotism, you’re only American if you’re white, born here, and wealthy enough to never need help.

📣 WWGS: WHAT WOULD GEORGE SAY?

 “We got a government that can find money for bombs, oil subsidies, and golf carts at Mar-a-fucking-Lago… but a hungry kid?  That’s where they draw the line.  Because it’s not about money. It’s about who they think deserves to eat.”

George would remind us:

 They don’t hate SNAP because of fraud.

 They hate it because it works.

It keeps people alive.

And keeping people alive means they might have time to think.

 And when poor people start thinking?

 The billionaires get nervous.

So yeah.

 They’ll fight to the death for the unborn fetus.

But once you’re born and hungry?

Sorry, kid. There’s no line item for compassion.