⚠️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

 The following is a fictional rant in the voice of George Carlin, written as political satire and social commentary. It does not reflect the actual views of any public figure or institution and is intended solely for criticism, parody, and entertainment.

 If you’re offended, you’re probably the type of person who thinks empathy is a handout and irony is a security threat.

Put the pitchfork down—this is free speech on full blast.

George Says: “CUTTING FOOD STAMPS TO LOWER FOOD PRICES? THAT’S NOT ECONOMICS—THAT’S A FUCKING HOROSCOPE WITH MATH.”

So now the new hot idea—fresh from the Republican economic lab where empathy goes to die—is this: “If we cut SNAP, food prices will come down.”

Yeah. Because the way to make food affordable… is to make sure fewer people can afford it.

Let me get this straight.

 We take money away from poor people—

 so they buy less food—

 which lowers demand—

 which then lowers prices—

 so the poor people can now afford food again?

Jesus Christ, that’s not a policy.

 That’s a fucking Rubik’s Cube of cruelty.

And let’s talk about that “lower demand” fantasy.

 Food companies don’t lower prices because you ask nicely.

 They don’t say, “Well golly, Americans are hungry—better knock 10% off the ground beef.”

They shrink the packaging.

 They water down the soup.

 They give you seven chips in a family-size bag and call it “new and efficient.”

Prices don’t drop.

The portions do.

And even when they do lower prices?

 It’s temporary.

 It’s performative.

 It’s a sale for the photo op before they jack the price up again for “supply chain reasons” and blame it on the goddamn moon cycle.

But back to the logic.

 If cutting SNAP makes food cheaper, then cutting housing assistance should make rents cheaper, right?

 And slashing healthcare subsidies should cure cancer!

See? This is the problem with voodoo economics: It sounds smart if you say it fast enough and smile while you’re doing it.

The truth is simpler: They don’t want to feed poor people.

 They don’t want to help anyone they don’t think votes for them.

 And they sure as hell don’t care if a family in Mississippi or Ohio goes hungry so long as the donor class gets another round of tax cuts.

This isn't economic policy.

 It’s class warfare with a spreadsheet.

 It’s the Hunger Games—but sponsored by Kraft and blessed by Jesus.

George out.

 And if food prices ever do drop because of SNAP cuts, don’t celebrate.

 It’ll be because someone else skipped dinner so Walmart could keep its margin.