⚠️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (NOW WITH EXTRA BALLOT BALLS)

 This is a fictional rant channeling George Carlin—blunt, bold, and wired to democracy. If you think "clear results" equals "trust?" Sit down, nerd.

So let me get this straight.

We’ve got a county in New York where people swear they voted.

 They filled in the bubbles for Senate AND President—but the machines counted none for President in some districts.

 No votes for Kamala, none for Biden—but scroll up? Thousands for Gillibrand, the Senate candidate.

 That’s not a machine “hiccup.” That’s a system-wide sneeze in your face.

Smart Elections says, “Hold on. Either the ballots vanished—or the machines ate ’em.”

And a judge says, “Alright, let’s open the hood—hand-count every dang paper ballot. We’re not trusting your black-box miracles on faith.”

Listen—they’re not aiming to flip the election.

 They’re aiming to fix the machinery so when your vote goes in, it actually means something when it comes out.

Because in Rockland, when numbers for Senate line up with people’s statements…

 But presidential numbers vanish?

That’s not oversight.

 That’s omission.

And let’s face it—when voting machines can be updated in stealth mode, filled with hard-to-detect backdoors, and no one’s auditing the code?

We’re not running elections. We’re running Russian roulette—with public trust in the chamber.

So what’s the takeaway?

• You want democracy?
• Hand-check ballots.
• You want transparency?
• Show your machine logs.
• You want confidence?
• Don’t just count electronically—count in public.

Smart Elections just demanded that justice—and the judge backed it.

Final word?

If a democracy can be hacked—or even just malfunction—it wasn’t democracy in the first place.

 It was a shell show, with ballots for show, not for count.

And Smart Elections? They’re the ones doing the behind-the-scenes quality control before we hand over our future to a bug we didn’t even know existed.

Goodnight. And check under your hood.