⚠️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Straight from the Quarterdeck of Rage):

 This is a fictional rant in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin, written as political satire. If you're the kind of person who confuses equality with weakness and thinks Pride Month is an attack on your masculinity, you might want to sit this one out and go iron your flag.

Spotlight hits. George walks on stage, tired of this bullshit but grinning like he knows what’s coming.

So now we’ve got the Secretary of War-by-Facebook, Pete Hegseth, swinging his big dumb culture war axe at... wait for it...

A SHIP.

Not a policy. Not a bill.

A. Fucking. SHIP.

The USNS Harvey Milk.

 Named after a man who served his country, got honorably discharged after four years, and STILL went on to make history by fighting for people the system spat on.

 So naturally, FOTUS and his little attack poodle Hegseth want that name gone.

 Because nothing terrifies these insecure little men more than a queer Navy vet who wasn’t afraid to speak up.

And what’s the excuse?

“Re-establishing warrior culture.”

Oh, warrior culture! Of course!

 Because apparently, if your ship isn’t named after someone who bayoneted a bear while reciting Leviticus, it’s not a real warship anymore.

Let’s translate that, shall we?

“Warrior culture” = straight, white, male, preferably Christian, angry, and allergic to self-reflection.

 Harvey Milk? Doesn’t fit the mold.

 Too gay. Too brave. Too dead to defend himself.

So what do they do?

 Scrub the name. Repaint the hull.

 Make sure the sailors don’t get any ideas about inclusion, compassion, or—heaven forbid—respecting people who aren't exactly like them.

And it’s not just Harvey.

 No no no, this is a dry run.

 They’ve got their eyes on every other ship named after people who actually stood for something:

Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Thurgood Marshall. Cesar Chavez.

 Too liberal. Too brown. Too dead to complain.

This isn’t about ships.

 This is about rewriting history in real time.

 This is Project 2025 with an anchor.

 This is America playing Memory Hole with a fucking keel.

And the timing?

PRIDE MONTH.

 They waited until the rainbow flags were up to start whitewashing the steel.

Because they don’t just want to roll back rights.

They want to scrub the names off the map.

 Make it so your kids never hear them.

 So they never know who Harvey Milk was.

 Because erasure is easier than fighting.

George out.

 And to whoever’s rewriting the Navy’s naming manual?

 Here’s one you can use:

“USS Cowardice.”

 Commissioned 2025.

 Launched with hate.

 Powered by fear.