⚖️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (NOW WITH SELECTIVE EQUALITY!)

 This is satire, sarcasm, and stage rage in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin. If you think civil rights should depend on your state’s vibe and your judge’s robe color, this one’s for you. Side effects may include clarity, rage, and a sudden urge to reread the 14th Amendment with a highlighter and a baseball bat.

So let me get this straight.

The Supreme Court—that polished pile of black robes and brittle logic—just ruled that it’s perfectly fine for Tennessee to ban gender-affirming care for minors.

Because apparently, when it comes to trans kids, parental rights go straight into the woodchipper if the state gets a moral itch.

But the same week—literally the same goddamn news cycle—a federal judge in Massachusetts says, “Wait a minute… maybe forcing everyone into ‘M’ or ‘F’ on passports is a civil rights violation!”

So which is it, America?

Are we protecting liberty, or customizing it like a fast-food combo?

"I’ll take a freedom to travel, hold the identity, and could you supersize the government overreach?”

SCOTUS says banning care is fine because there’s a “medical debate.”

Oh really? There’s also a debate about whether sugar is a food group.

Does that mean we ban cupcakes?

No. We ban logic.

We ban parental rights if they happen to include supporting a trans kid.

We ban affirmation if it makes a state legislature uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, Judge Kobick out in Boston says, “Actually, you don’t get to erase someone’s gender because the State Department had a moral panic.”

Thank you, Your Honor.

You read the Constitution, not a campaign flyer.

So here’s where we are:

• You’re a kid in Tennessee? Your state says your identity is a phase and your doctor is a criminal.
• You’re trying to leave the country as nonbinary? Your passport might actually reflect your truth… for now.
• But wait until the appeal.

This is not justice.

This is whack-a-mole civil rights.

They hit you in the courts, you pop up in another courtroom, and eventually someone hits you with a budget rider at midnight on a Thursday.

The real question isn’t “Are trans rights protected?”

It’s “Which court are you standing in?”

Because we’ve got a Supreme Court that’s basically a focus group for ALEC, and lower courts that still remember how to read equal protection without flinching.

So what’s the lesson?

You’re free, unless your freedom is inconvenient.

You have rights, unless a donor base disagrees.

And you’re a person, unless someone can turn your existence into a wedge issue on cable news.

Goodnight. Good luck. And if you're not angry, you're not paying attention.