⚠️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

 This is a satirical rant in the voice of George Carlin. If you're in favor of criminalizing protest, filming cops, or generally telling people to sit down and shut up, this one’s probably gonna feel personal.

George Says: “IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE BEING FILMED IN PUBLIC, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T BE A PUBLIC FUCKING SERVANT”

Let’s talk about Texas Senate Bill 1208 and its evil twin, HB 3565.

On the surface?

 “Interference with public duties.”

 Sounds reasonable, right?

But then you read the fine print.

 They want to upgrade that “interference” from a misdemeanor to a state jail felony.

 That’s right.

You film a cop. You raise your voice at a city council meeting. You ask a question too loudly at a protest—and BOOM.

 Congratulations, you’re a felon.

You know what this is?

It’s authoritarianism with Lone Star branding.

 It’s saying, “We don’t want to stop abuse of power—we want to stop you from seeing it.”

Let’s say you’re out walking your dog.

 You see a cop slam a teenager into the pavement for jaywalking.

 You take out your phone.

 You hit record.

Now you’re interfering.

Enjoy your felony.

 Try explaining that to your future landlord.

“What’s this on your background check?”

 “Oh, that’s from when I tried to make sure a kid didn’t get murdered.”

This is what happens when the government stops representing the people  and starts protecting itself from the people.

You don’t pass laws like this to preserve order.

 You pass them to silence criticism.

 To make sure the next time someone like George Floyd is gasping for air, no one dares hold up a phone.

And the irony?

 These same politicians love to talk about “freedom.”

They wave flags, wear crosses, chant about rights, then turn around and say, “If you question the police, we’ll put you in a cage.”

Freedom of speech?

 Not if it inconveniences an officer.

Right to protest?

 Only if you do it quietly, in a corner, with a permit, and your hands behind your back.

Here’s what George says:

If your badge is so fragile that it shatters under public scrutiny,

 you shouldn’t be holding it.

And if your government is so afraid of its citizens that it has to felonize their voices,

 then it’s not a republic anymore.

 It’s a surveillance state in cowboy boots.

Now, these pretentious fuckers caught wind of the protests heading their way and the lawyers salivating over the prospect of juicy First Amendment court battles. 

What did they do?

Withdrew the bills from consideration.

Victory time, right? Wrong!

Because in Texas, they can sneak whole bills in as amendments to bills that don't, you know. Violate civil rights.

They're sneaky like that. 

In the middle of the debate, when only the 'good' bills are left on the table, some cow patty dodging motherfucker is going to submit one of these as an amendment, and it'll get quietly tacked onto a bill that provides eight cents a day extra for the per diem for football players or some shit like that.

And it'll pass.

The moral of the story? Don't take your eyes of these bastards for a second!

George out.

 And Texas?

 You want to lock people up for watching?

 Well guess what—

We’re all watching now.