⚖️ Legal Disclaimer

 This is not respectful commentary. This is a George Carlin-style rant: fully loaded, foul-mouthed, fact-based, and fed the f* up**. If you’re looking for “both sides,” try cable news. This one only has one side—the one screaming ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS BULLSHT?!*

🎤 “Proof of Citizenship? More Like Proof of Authoritarian Fantasies”

 A George Carlin-Style Rant on Trump’s Voter Suppression by Executive Order

So the Trump administration—America’s ongoing experiment in reality-TV dictatorship—decided it would be a great idea to overhaul the election system by executive order.

Because if you can’t win fair and square, rewrite the rules like you’re cheating at Uno with a loaded deck.

The centerpiece?

Proof. Of. Citizenship.

Oh yes. Because obviously, the real threat to democracy isn’t foreign interference or corporate money.

Nope.

 It’s poor people with brown skin and no birth certificate.

🧻 The Executive Order: Toilet Paper with a Letterhead

 This thing reads like it was scribbled in crayon on a cocktail napkin at Mar-a-Lago:

• Everyone registering to vote must now provide documentary proof of citizenship.
• If you’re on public assistance? Prove you’re legal before you get a registration form.
• No passport? No birth certificate? No problem. No vote.

That’s right.

They turned being poor or displaced into a f***ing disqualifier for democracy.

👩‍⚖️ Then Along Comes the Judge

 Enter Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly.

And thank God for her, because she looked at this horsesh*t and said:

“Absolutely f***ing not.”

She called it what it is:

“A violation of constitutional authority.”

Because guess what?

The President doesn’t get to unilaterally rewrite election law like he’s the Dungeon Master of democracy.

You don’t get to slap an executive order on the Constitution like it’s a sticky note that says “Do It My Way, Signed Don.”

📉 Let’s Talk About Who This Hurts

 Let’s break it down:

• 10% of eligible voters don’t have a passport, birth certificate, or "acceptable documentation."
• You’re elderly? Immigrant? Born at home? Displaced by disaster?
• Too bad.
•  You don’t get to vote—because you failed the paperwork test.

This is voter suppression dressed up like “security.”

 It’s like saying you’re installing a deadbolt on the door after already kicking everyone out of the house.

And the irony?

There’s no evidence that non-citizen voting is a problem.

NONE.

But Trump and his merry band of democracy arsonists treat every ballot like it’s a loaded gun in the hands of someone who listens to NPR.

🧨 Final Thought?

 This executive order isn’t about protecting elections.

It’s about purging voters.

 It’s about weaponizing bureaucracy to keep power in the hands of the terrified, the wealthy, and the terminally insecure.

This is what authoritarianism looks like in America:

 Not boots on your doorstep.

 Not tanks in the streets.

Just a slow, grinding avalanche of executive orders and paperwork that ends with you standing outside the polling place being told:

“Sorry. You’re not on the list.”

And when the judge blocked it?

They screamed “election integrity!”

Because in this version of America, the most dangerous thing you can do…

 is vote while not being rich, white, or wrapped in a flag like a sausage at a gun show.