(Because “plantation economics” didn’t test well with the base)

⚠️ SATIRE WARNING ⚠️

 This rant contains heavy sarcasm, historical comparisons, and extremely uncomfortable truths. If you prefer your dystopia with a flag on it and no reading required, now’s your last chance to change the channel.

You know how sometimes you hear something so fucking evil, it sounds like it rolled straight out of a 19th-century plantation ledger?

Well, welcome to “owner responsibility.”

That’s the new immigration plan, folks!

That’s what the president is selling you—an actual, literal system where employers “own” their workers.

But don’t worry—it’s not slavery. No, no.

It’s patriotic capitalism.

That’s what they’ll tell you. They say, “We’re just giving the best workers a chance!”

Oh, sure. A chance to live here—as long as they’re good little economic units, tied to a specific job, never complain, never leave, and never, ever ask for citizenship.

Sound familiar?

It’s not immigration reform. It’s indentured servitude with a loyalty clause and no way out.

They’re calling it “bringing the best workers back.”

 But guess what? You don’t bring people back unless you already threw them out in the first place—or hunted them like animals.

Now they want them back, but only if they’ve got a leash around their necks and a corporate logo stamped on their ass.

And who’s responsible for these workers?

Not the government. Not the system.

Their “owners.”

Oh, I’m sorry, is that too blunt for you?

That’s what they’re saying. “Owners.”

As in: the company is now legally responsible for the human being who picks your strawberries, changes your sheets, or scrubs the fucking urinal at the Hilton.

But don’t worry, they’re not calling it slavery—because there’s a biometric ID and an app involved.

And these “best workers”? They get to work legally—but can’t vote.

Can’t become citizens.

Can’t switch jobs.

Can’t leave without risking deportation.

We’ve seen this before.

It was called “guest worker” programs in the Jim Crow South.

It was called Bracero. It was called convict leasing.

And it always ended the same way: cheap, voiceless labor building a rich man’s empire with no protection, no recourse, and no dignity.

You don’t get to talk about “freedom” while building a labor caste system.

You don’t get to wave the flag while shackling workers to “owners.”

You don’t get to scream about the Constitution while creating a class of people without a goddamn say in the system they serve.

And don’t give me that crap about “jobs Americans won’t do.”

If a job pays poverty wages, offers no healthcare, and treats you like furniture—no shit people won’t do it.

That’s not an immigration problem.

That’s a capitalism problem with a plantation complex.

And let’s talk legality—because I know someone out there’s going, “But it’s legal, George!”

Yeah? So was the Three-Fifths Compromise.

So was the Chinese Exclusion Act.

So was Japanese internment.

And so was slavery, for two hundred and forty-five goddamn years.

Legal isn’t the same as right.

It’s only legal because the bastards who wrote the law designed it to protect themselves.

This isn’t reform. It’s rebranded servitude—wrapped in red, white, and bullshit.

You can slap a barcode on it, call it a “worker ID,” dress it up in Freedom Fries and play Lee Greenwood on a loop—

But when a person is owned, even temporarily, you don’t have a democracy. You have a fucking plantation with an HR department.

And if you're okay with that?

Then maybe you’re not the citizen you think you are.

You’re just another “owner” waiting for your cut.