⚠️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

 This is a satirical rant in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin. If your ego bruises easily, you may want to leave the room now and go hug a flag.

George Says: “THE ONE BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL? MORE LIKE THE ONE BIG BULLSHIT BONANZA”

You know what they should’ve called it?

“The We Don’t Trust You Bill.”

 Because that’s what it is.

 It’s a 1,100-page hand grenade lobbed straight at democracy by a bunch of sycophants playing lawyer dress-up in the middle of the night.

Let’s take a look at what’s in this legislative landfill:

• Closing the Department of Education?  Because if you keep Americans dumb enough, they’ll never notice when you rob them blind.
• 25% more logging in national forests, no environmental review?  Great! Turn the trees into paper so you can print more deregulation.
• Slashing clean energy and EV incentives while handing royalty breaks to oil companies?  Because nothing says “America first” like “planet last.”
• Paris Agreement? Out.
•  Student aid? Gutted.
•  Tariffs? Trump gets to play Monopoly with the economy again, except this time he’s the banker and the only player.

And how did it pass committee?

In the dead of night.

Because that's what cowards do.

 They wait until everyone's asleep, flip the lights off, and pass a bill so toxic they wouldn't even touch it when people were watching.

And let’s talk about those four Republicans who voted “present.”

 You know what “present” means in Congress?

“I’m here, but I left my spine at home.”

They opposed the bill last week when cameras were on, but when the lights dimmed and the press went home, they tucked their principles under the desk and let this bastard through the gate.

This isn't legislation.

 It’s a hostile corporate takeover disguised as a policy document.

 You don’t write a thousand-page omnibus in secret unless you’re hiding something— or everything.

And what’s this new “Department of Government Efficiency”?

DOGE?

 Really?

 If you’re naming federal agencies after crypto memes, maybe you shouldn't be writing the Constitution’s eulogy.

You know what George says?

Any government that calls itself “efficient” is probably planning to screw you with military precision.

They’re calling this “reform.”

 It’s not reform.

 It’s revenge.

 It’s retribution for having to share power, listen to facts, or answer to the public.

They don’t want checks and balances.

 They want blank checks and zero balance.

George out.

 And if you’re wondering where your rights went,

 check under the logging permits.

 They’re probably buried next to your pension and your air quality.