⚠️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Standard Issue, Now with Extra Rage):

 This is a fictional rant in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin, written as political satire. If you're a billionaire tech mogul who thinks ethics is a bug in the system, you're probably not gonna like this.

George Says: “THEY CALLED IT A BEAUTIFUL BILL—BECAUSE ‘OLIGARCHIC POWER GRAB’ WAS ALREADY TAKEN.”

So now they’re calling it the One Big Beautiful Bill—like it's a golden retriever instead of a legislative back-alley mugging with stock options.

Let’s break it down.

Ten years.

 Ten whole years where no state can regulate AI.

 No limits. No safety nets. No rules.

You know what that is?

That’s not “pro-innovation.”

 That’s a hall pass for Skynet.

It’s a big, juicy gift to every billionaire with a chatbot, a vision board, and a God complex.

Let’s be clear.

 This isn’t about helping you.

 This is about helping Elon build a robot that replaces you, without having to hear your whiny little voice about ethics or privacy.

Because the billionaires?

 They’re not afraid of AI taking over.

 They’re afraid of you asking for a cut.

And it gets better.

 They’re also cutting their own taxes while they do it.

 Trillions in breaks for the top 10%.

 You?

 You get… deregulated.

Which is politician-speak for: “Good luck, asshole.”

They say it’s “streamlining innovation.”

 Yeah.

 And an axe streamlines your spine, too.

This isn’t a tech bill.

 It’s a clearance sale on civil rights.

 Privacy?

 Gone.

 Accountability?

 Outsourced.

 Bias, surveillance, exploitation?

 All baked in.

Because when you’re not allowed to regulate, you’re not allowed to protect.

George says: The future shouldn’t be written by venture capitalists in dark rooms with no brakes.

If the machines ever do wake up, they’re not gonna kill the rich.

 They’re gonna bill 'em for hosting costs and enslave the rest of us on v2.0 of Amazon Mechanical Turk.

George out.

 And if this is what "beautiful" legislation looks like, I wanna see their version of an ugly one— because it probably comes with a barbed-wire Wi-Fi router and a Terms of Service that ends with “Submit.”