⚠️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Standard Issue, Teflon Hypocrisy Detected):

 This is a fictional rant in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin, written as political satire and delivered with full stage-rant energy. If you’re allergic to accountability and think burner accounts are brave, buckle up.

🎤 George Takes the Mic:

 So Nancy Mace, Congress’s self-proclaimed tech wizard and moral watchdog, is out here running fake social media accounts like she’s auditioning for Catfish: C-SPAN Edition.

This woman chairs the subcommittee on Cybersecurity—and she’s got staffers making burner Reddit accounts to upvote her speeches.

 Because nothing says “strong conservative values” like asking your interns to pretend they’re randos on Twitter shouting,“Wow, she really destroyed the libs today, 100%!”

You think I’m kidding?

 She made her staff do it.

 Not once. Not twice. A whole damn disinformation campaign with the technical sophistication of a middle school group project and the ethics of a Florida real estate scam.

And then she brags—BRAGS—about teaching herself to code?

 Sweetheart, if your HTML skills are on par with your humanity, I wouldn’t trust you to build a MySpace page without violating someone’s civil rights.

But wait! That’s not all.

She’s not just running sock puppets online—she’s also punching down in real life.

Showing up to a university and using a transphobic slur at a student—ON CAMERA— then proudly posting the clip online like she just scored a touchdown at the bigotry bowl.

You know what that is?

 That’s not free speech.

 That’s targeted cruelty, gift-wrapped in fake patriotism and served up as “bravery.”

I’ve seen braver people on Sesame Street, lady.

And what does she push in Congress?

Bathroom bans.

 Committee rants about “men in dresses.”

 Laws to regulate who pees where and how.

You’re in Congress, Nancy.

 You could be funding schools, fixing roads, saving lives.

But no.

 You’re busy playing Gender Cop at the Capitol.

 Kicking down at a vulnerable group of people while hiding behind your burner army of keyboard Karens and Reddit Ronbots.

You want to code something, Nancy?

Try writing a little program called “Do Your Fucking Job.”

 Step 1: Read the Constitution.

 Step 2: Read it again.

 Step 3: Stop inventing enemies where empathy should be.

George out.

 And if your whole political brand relies on attacking trans kids and lying online to make yourself look cool— you’re not a representative.

 You’re a troll with a budget.