Disclaimer: This is George Carlin with a microphone, not your guidance counselor. If you want soothing voices, try NPR. If you want rage wrapped in jokes, keep your ass in the seat.

Here’s how the game works. Trump passes his giant boondoggle—the One Big Beautiful Bill—that hacks a trillion dollars out of Medicaid over the next decade. Cuts, caps, requirements, the whole nine yards. But the thing doesn’t even kick in all at once. It’s a slow-motion guillotine, one year at a time.

So what do the MAGA states do? They don’t wait. They leap onstage like kids auditioning for Daddy’s approval. North Carolina, Idaho, a whole chorus line of red-state governors, all squealing, “Look at us, FOTUS! We’re gutting health care before you even told us to! Aren’t we loyal? Aren’t we obedient? Do we get a Scooby Snack?”

North Carolina slashed provider rates yesterday, October 1. Three percent across the board, up to ten for specialists. Dentists already bailing out. Families scrambling, kids losing care. Idaho takes four percent off the top and small hospitals are gasping for air, deciding which wing to close first—maternity or mental health. “Pick your poison, folks, do you want babies or sanity?”

And this is all before the federal cuts even land. That’s the punchline. They’re cutting early, cutting deep, and when the big blade finally drops, they’ll shrug and say, “Hey, don’t look at us, it’s Washington!” Meanwhile, they’re already covered in blood.

They call it “fiscal responsibility.” I call it political cosplay. Pretend you’re tough on budgets, wave the flag, starve the poor, and hope the boss in the Oval Office gives you a pat on the head. Medicaid isn’t numbers on a ledger. Medicaid is kids with rare diseases, parents who’ve mortgaged their souls to keep them alive, nurses already stretched to the bone. And these bastards are turning that into a talent show to prove their loyalty.

They don’t care if kids lose therapy. They don’t care if mothers lose pay. They don’t care if hospitals close. They care about one thing: showing the guy in the White House they can be meaner, faster, cheaper.

This isn’t governing. This is cruelty on commission. And the worst part? They want applause for it.