Disclaimer: This ain’t about patch notes, it’s George Carlin screaming into your headset. If you thought loot boxes were the biggest scam in gaming, wait till you see who’s buying the damn company.

Electronic Arts. The people behind Madden, Battlefield, The Sims. The cultural junk food we’ve been devouring for decades. Now it’s being bought out for $55 billion by a tag-team of Saudi investors, private equity vampires, and none other than Jared “Always on the Grift” Kushner. That’s right — Trump’s son-in-law just got himself a new toy, and it’s the console in your living room.

And here’s the kicker: you think you’re worried about wokeness in games? Wait till Riyadh has the veto button. The Sims letting you date who you want? Kiss that goodbye. Romance arcs that aren’t “family-friendly” enough? Deleted. Storylines that poke fun at governments, or god forbid religion? Redacted. It’s gonna be Battlefield, but scrubbed for your moral safety — murder’s fine, but two guys holding hands? BAN HAMMER.

And MAGA, listen close: this isn’t the “elites” in San Francisco canceling your shooters. This is Saudi Arabia buying the whole damn publisher. They’re not modding your games, they’re owning them. Every patch, every DLC, every microtransaction — filtered through the priorities of a monarchy that thinks free speech is a felony.

Meanwhile, Jared’s cashing checks. He didn’t learn coding, he didn’t ship a game, he didn’t debug shit. He just opened the Trump family Rolodex, whispered “fund me, Prince,” and now your copy of Madden 26 is brought to you by the same crowd that still bans movie theaters for showing the wrong films. That’s not capitalism. That’s feudalism with cutscenes.

And let’s not pretend this isn’t a brain drain. EA was one of the last big American gaming giants. Now? Delisted, foreign-owned, decision-making shipped overseas. Another piece of U.S. cultural influence gutted and pawned off while the MAGA crowd waves a flag and pretends it’s “America First.” Newsflash: it’s not. It’s America Sold.

So yeah, MAGA — the Saudi monarchy and Jared “Neopotism DLC” Kushner are coming after your games. You worried about pronouns in the dialogue tree? You’re about to lose the whole damn tree.

Game over.