⚖️ Legal Disclaimer

 This is satirical commentary in the voice and vein of George Carlin: profane, precise, and pissed off. If you think this is “too harsh,” imagine how it feels to be illegally deported from your own country and then told, “Oops. Different agency.” This is for the people who still believe in accountability, civil rights, and not getting yeeted out of your homeland by spreadsheet error. Public figures and public policy are fair game. If it burns, maybe fix the f***ing policy.

🎤 "It Wasn’t Us, It Was ICE!”

 A George Carlin-Style Rant on Lawless Deportations and the Authoritarian Blame Game

So here’s the latest outrage from the “Oops, I nuked the Constitution” wing of the Trump administration:

🛫 The Case: Kilmar Abrego Garcia

 Kilmar Abrego Garcia is a Maryland resident, originally from El Salvador.

He was detained last year for overstaying a visa—already not a deportable offense under the current court proceedings. The government—our government—was told explicitly:

“DO NOT DEPORT THIS MAN.”

Because he had a pending case. Because there were legal questions. Because the court said so.

But guess what happened?

They deported him anyway.

To El Salvador.

While his legal team was literally in court trying to stop it.

And when the judge demanded answers?

“Oh, sorry. That wasn’t us. That was ICE. You know... the OTHER us.”

That’s right.

The Trump administration’s defense is that one branch of the executive disobeyed the other.

AND WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WITH THAT.

🧠 You Know Who Else Tried That Excuse?

 👮‍♂️ The Nazis at Nuremberg

“We were just following orders!”

or

“We didn’t give the orders—we were just the ones carrying them out.”

Yeah, that defense didn’t fly there, and it shouldn’t fly now.

Because guess what?

If you are part of the machine, the machine’s actions are your responsibility.

You don’t get to run the country with an iron fist one day, and then blame the fingers the next.

📜 Nixon & Watergate

 When the break-in happened?

“That was just the Committee to Re-Elect the President.”

Not Nixon himself, right?

 Just his entire staff, lawyers, and handpicked operatives.

But not him.

Same game.

Different crime.

💣 Iran-Contra

 Reagan didn’t sign off on the guns-for-hostages deal, right?

“It was rogue elements of the National Security Council!”

Sure it was.

 And I’m a f***ing Oompa Loompa in combat boots.

🚨 Here’s What’s Actually Happening

 This isn’t just a mistake.

 It’s a constitutional test balloon.

Push the boundaries.

 Ignore a court order.

 Blame the other guy.

 See who notices.

 See who cares.

And if nobody gets punished?

Congratulations!

 You’ve created the illusion of lawfulness with zero accountability.

That’s how authoritarianism is born.

Not with tanks in the streets.

But with memos ignored and agencies blamed.

🧨 Final Thought?

 Trump’s DOJ argued they didn’t violate the order.

 Because ICE did it.

And ICE?

ICE didn’t say shit.

Because ICE doesn’t answer to you.

 Or the courts.

 Or even basic fing logic.***

And if you think that’s a one-off?

Remember:

• We deported a U.S. citizen last week.
• We told immigration lawyers to “self-deport.”
• We violated a federal order because we felt like it.

This isn’t policy.

It’s selective anarchy with uniforms and an HR department.

So if you ever wondered how democracies die?

It’s not screaming.

It’s shrugging.

And saying:

“That wasn’t us. Different agency.”