Disclaimer: This is satire. It's angry, it's profane, it’s George Carlin through a megaphone. If you’re looking for polite Sunday school, you took a wrong fucking turn.

So what’s the grand plan for bringing manufacturing back to America? Tax breaks? Infrastructure? Training programs? No, no, no—ICE raids, baby! Kick down the doors of a goddamn Hyundai/LG battery plant in Georgia, slap irons on 300 South Korean engineers, and march them in front of the TV cameras like you’ve just busted El Chapo’s personal meth lab.

Four hundred seventy-five workers hauled off. South Korea loses its shit—columns with headlines like “Imperial Tyranny” and “Korea’s Humiliation.” You think that helps America? You think Samsung, TSMC, LG are watching that circus and going, “Oh yes, let’s invest billions in a country where they handcuff our people for daring to plug in a robot arm”? Fuck no. They’re already shopping Europe, Japan, China for factories where their people won’t be treated like criminals for having the wrong stamp in their passport.

And what’s the fallout? Construction on the plant halts. Jobs—those precious, high-paying, red-state jobs Brian Kemp was drooling over—vanish into thin air. The whole goddamn “Build in America” plan suddenly looks like a bait-and-switch: “Nice factory you got there. Shame if ICE turned it into a detention center.”

And Donnie waddles onto Truth Social to calm the storm. “We welcome them, we love them, we’re learning from them.” Oh, really? You’ve got South Korean engineers shackled on live TV, and you’re trying to sell “we’re learning from them” like this is a fucking cultural exchange program? What are we learning—how to humiliate allies? How to scare away investment? How to kill the goose before it lays the golden EV battery?

Let’s be real: this wasn’t about law enforcement. This was political theater. A chance to show the base he’s “tough on immigration.” Never mind that most of those guys had valid visas. Never mind they were here to train American workers—because, newsflash, we don’t know how to build this shit yet! No, better to cuff ’em, shuffle ’em, ship ’em home, and leave a half-finished factory rotting in Georgia clay.

And what’s the endgame? Power, leverage, control. Shake down Hyundai and LG. Make ’em beg for new visa categories, sweetheart deals, or campaign donations. Scare the shit out other foreign investors so they’ll cough up political favors just to avoid being the next target. And above all, distract the rubes. Because while you’re gawking at Korean engineers in chains, you’re not looking at the gutted schools, the poisoned water, the collapsed bridges, or the fucking kleptocracy running the White House.

This is what “America First” looks like, folks: America Last in credibility, America Last in investment, America Last in basic human decency. But hey—ICE got some great B-roll for the evening news. And Donnie got to thump his chest and scream about foreigners stealing jobs—while he personally stole the jobs right out from under you.