⚠️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Standard Issue, Now With Surprising Optimism):
This is a fictional rant in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin, written as political satire—with a rare glimmer of hope. If you're allergic to education, facts, or the idea that Americans might actually learn what the Constitution says, grab a helmet.
George Says: “HOLY SHIT—HARVARD’S GIVING AWAY EDUCATION THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS.”
Now this? This is weird.
Because for once—just once—we’ve got a big-name institution doing something not driven by stock options, donor tantrums, or billionaire cosplay.
Harvard—yes, the Ivy-covered altar of generational wealth and Latin mottos—just did something wild:
They’re offering free, accessible, no-strings-attached classes on civics, the Constitution, and American history.
No tuition.
No required kidney donation.
No Harvard hoodie price tag slapped on a YouTube playlist.
Just knowledge. For everyone.
Imagine that.
📜 Wanna know what your rights actually are instead of just shouting “Free Speech!” at a drag brunch? Start here:
👉 We the People: Civic Engagement in a Constitutional Democracy
🏛️ Want to learn how the Constitution was built—and not from a YouTuber in a tank top with a Gadsden flag behind him? Go here:
👉 American Government: Constitutional Foundations
🗳️ Wanna see who really pulls the strings in elections? Spoiler: it's not your aunt’s Facebook group.
George says: This is what a real act of patriotism looks like.
Not a flag pin.
Not screaming at a school board.
Not voting for the guy who thinks “judicial review” is a shampoo brand.
It’s this:
Opening the gates of education. Sharing it. Democratizing it.
Letting anyone—not just the legacy kids of senators and CEOs—learn what this country was supposed to be about.
Because let’s face it:
You can’t fix democracy if you don’t know how it’s broken.
And you sure as hell can’t defend rights you’ve never bothered to read about.
So sign up. Take a course. Learn something.
Not to get a degree. Not for a résumé. For the revolution.
Because an educated public? That’s what they’re really afraid of.
George out.
And for once, smiling a little.
Because Harvard’s not just selling prestige—they’re serving knowledge. And knowledge is the most dangerous weapon of all.
