⚠️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

 This is satire in the voice of George Carlin. It’s angry, profane, and unfortunately, entirely plausible. If you came for comfort, this ain't the monologue for you.

George Says: “IT’S NOT A TAX POLICY—IT’S A FUCK YOU POLICY.”

So Trump and the GOP say they won’t lift the SALT cap.

 Not because it’s bad economics.

 Not because it’s wasteful.

 Not because they give two shits about fiscal responsibility.

But because the wrong people would benefit.

You hear that?

Not criminals.

 Not scammers.

 Just Americans—in the wrong ZIP code.

It’s the most honest thing they’ve said in years: “If you didn’t vote for us, we will actively make your life worse.”

And not even because it helps anyone else!

 No, no—this isn’t Robin Hood.

 It’s reverse Santa Claus.

 They don’t give to the rich.

 They just take from the blue.

You want to know how broken things are?

They’re not even hiding it anymore.

 They say the quiet part out loud—proudly.

“Why would we help people who vote Democrat?”

Let me rephrase that for clarity:

“Why would we govern the whole country when we can govern half and punish the rest?”

This isn’t government.

 This is revenge cosplay.

 It’s grudge-based governance.

 And the fans eat it up!

 “Yeah! Own the libs! Tank my deduction and raise my property tax if it’ll make Gavin Newsom frown!”

And here’s the kicker: This kind of thing?

 It’s not a glitch.

 It’s the fucking model.

Everything is polarized now.

 Voting, healthcare, housing, climate, school lunch.

 Hell, in a few years they’ll have a partisan stance on oxygen.

“Blue states breathe left. Cut their airflow.”

This is how you cling to power when you’ve run out of ideas.

 You don’t govern—you divide.

 You don’t serve—you punish.

 You don’t build coalitions—you draw battle lines.

And instead of winning more people over, you keep feeding red meat to the base while they gnaw their own arms off in the echo chamber.

And if you’re one of those “base” voters?

 Living in a blue state?

 Surprise!

You’re getting shafted too.

Because they don’t care if you voted Republican in California.

 You’re still in the enemy camp.

 You’re acceptable losses in the great war against facts, nuance, and basic decency.

George says:

This isn’t governance.

 This is petty gang warfare in tailored suits.

You want a real tax plan?

How about we tax bullshit at the source?

 You’d balance the budget in an hour and drown the Capitol in receipts.

George out.

 And don’t worry—they’ll come for your refund next.

 All in the name of freedom.