⚠️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

 This is satire in the voice of George Carlin. It's angry. It's pointed. It's probably not fit for TV. But it’s also the kind of truth we’re not supposed to say out loud.

George Says: “IT ALWAYS STARTS WITH THE FAMOUS ONES. THEN IT’S YOU.”

So now Donald Trump wants the DOJ to investigate Beyoncé, Oprah, and Springsteen.

 You heard that right.

A former president demanding criminal investigations into musicians and talk show hosts.

Why?

 Because they said nice things about someone else.

You know who used to do that?

Hoover. Nixon. Stalin.

And not the cool kind of Nixon, either.

 Not the “I will go to China” Nixon.

 The wiretapping, enemy-list, burn-the-Constitution Nixon.

For over 40 years, we’ve had a simple, fragile, unspoken rule:

The President does not order the Justice Department to go after his enemies.

 Because once you do that, you don’t have a country.

 You have a Goddamn vendetta factory.

But now?

 We’re doing investigations by Twitter post.

 Sorry—Truth Social.

 Where the facts are optional and the font is rage.

Trump says Beyoncé was paid too much to appear at a campaign event.

 So now she’s a criminal?

You know what this is?

It’s not about Beyoncé.

 It’s not about Oprah.

 It’s about making an example.

They want to tell the rest of us: “If we can go after them, imagine what we can do to you.”

You tweet the wrong thing, go to the wrong protest, donate to the wrong campaign—suddenly the IRS wants a word, and the FBI has questions about that Venmo transaction from 2021.

It starts with celebrities.

 Because everyone thinks they’re safe from it.

 Everyone thinks, “Well, I’m not rich, I’m not famous—they’ll never come for me.”

But here’s the thing: Authoritarianism doesn’t need to knock on every door.

 It just needs to knock on a few —loudly.

 So the rest of the street gets real quiet.

This isn’t about campaign finance.

 It’s about power.

 And control.

 And the idea that if you dare to speak out— about climate, war, fascism, racism— they can ruin your life.

And you want to know the worst part?

Half the country’s fine with it.

 As long as it’s happening to people they don’t like.

 As long as the red meat keeps coming.

So here’s what George says:

You let a president use the DOJ as a hammer to smash his critics, and pretty soon you’ll be whispering your opinions into a pillow and hoping the algorithms don’t catch it.

George out.

 And by the way—if they’re listening?

I still think Springsteen kicks ass.

 Come at me.