⚠️ SATIRE DISCLAIMER (Now with 100% More Deportation Threats!):

 This is a fictional stage rant delivered in the unmistakable voice of George Carlin, written as political satire. If you're the type who thinks the First Amendment is optional and that dissent equals deportation, you might want to skip this one and go recite the Pledge of Allegiance in a mirror until you feel better.

🎤 [Spotlight. George strides up, eyes blazing, voice sharp as ever.]

So, let me get this straight—

Zohran Mamdani, a U.S. citizen since 2018, is running for mayor of New York City. Born in Uganda, raised in the U.S., he's as American as apple pie and baseball.

But that doesn't sit well with Councilwoman Vickie Paladino, who thinks that because he hasn't been a citizen for ten years and holds socialist views, he should be deported. That's right—deported. 

Now, let's unpack this.

First off, you can't deport a U.S. citizen. That's not how any of this works. But facts don't matter when you're playing the "If you don't agree with me, get out" game.

Second, since when did holding different political views become a deportable offense? I thought this was America—the land of free speech, the marketplace of ideas. But apparently, if your ideas don't align with the MAGA crowd, you're not welcome.

And the mayor? Eric Adams? He refuses to condemn Paladino's comments. Just says everyone needs to "tone down their mean-spirited, hateful language." 

Tone down? How about stand up? Stand up against this authoritarian nonsense. Stand up for the Constitution. Stand up for the idea that being American isn't about how long you've had your citizenship, but about participating in the democratic process.

But no, instead, we have elected officials suggesting that political opponents should be deported. What's next? Exiling people who vote for the wrong party? Banning books that challenge the status quo? Oh wait, they're already doing that.

This isn't just about one candidate or one councilwoman. This is about a dangerous trend where dissent is treated as treason, where diversity of thought is seen as a threat, and where the solution to disagreement is to silence the opposition.

Well, I've got news for you: That's not democracy. That's dictatorship.

George out.

 And remember: If your first response to someone disagreeing with you is to deport them, maybe you're the one who doesn't understand what it means to be American.