Legal Disclaimer: This is satire in the style of George Carlin. It’s aimed at public figures and public acts already in the news. If you recognize yourself, that’s on you.
Colorblind, my ass. These black-robed bastards up on the bench are pretending they can’t see race while they draw the goddamn map with a burning cross for a compass. They’re squinting at the Constitution like it’s fine print on a loan shark’s contract—because it is, if you let them write it.
They talk about “neutral principles.” Yeah, neutral the way cyanide’s neutral—it kills everybody, but somehow the same people always drop first. They’re gutting the Voting Rights Act one section at a time, like it’s a rack of ribs at a barbecue for bigots. And they’re licking their fingers while they do it.
They want you to believe this is about fairness. Fairness? Fairness is when the ref stops taking bribes. This is about locking in power so tight it squeals. It’s the same old Confederacy with a LinkedIn account—white supremacy, but make it jurisprudence.
They call it “colorblind,” but every decision’s red for rage, white for fear, and blue for the bodies left out of the count. They’re carving up Louisiana like a plantation rezoning, packing and cracking until democracy’s got more fractures than their goddamn logic.
And you know what really burns? They’ll smile while they do it. They’ll talk about the Founders. The Founders! Half of them owned people, the other half owned the paperwork that made it legal. Now these robe-draped fundamentalists are trying to resurrect that business model.
You can feel the playbook: make voting hard, make truth optional, make cruelty policy. And when someone notices, mumble “states’ rights” like a magic spell to hide the noose. It’s Reconstruction in reverse—same script, different century.
They keep saying race shouldn’t matter. Fine. Then stop using it as a fucking map key. Because the rest of us see what they’re doing: turning the Fifteenth Amendment into toilet paper and calling it “strict construction.”
The right-wing dream isn’t freedom; it’s control. It’s the fantasy of a country small enough to fit inside one man’s ego. They can’t handle a world where everybody gets a say, so they’re rewriting the rules until only they count.
I don’t know about you, but I’m done being polite about it. You don’t reason with people who burn down polling stations and call it civic engagement. You don’t compromise with those who think equality’s a zero-sum game. You fight like hell. Because if they win this round, the next election won’t be one.