Disclaimer: Tonight’s program is brought to you by the Ministry of Truth, sponsored by the Trump Regime. Side effects may include paranoia, censorship, and involuntary deportation.

Alright, gather ‘round, kids. It’s time for another episode of “Authoritarian Mad Libs.” Today’s special? Trump is designating antifa a “major terrorist organization.” That’s right—antifa. Not ISIS, not al-Qaeda, not the white supremacist militias stockpiling AR-15s in their mom’s basements. No, the loose collection of lefty activists with a Twitter account and a couple of black hoodies. A “major terrorist organization.” Sure. And my Aunt Rita’s bingo club is an international crime syndicate.

Here’s the rub: there is no legal mechanism to designate a domestic group as a terrorist org. None. The law doesn’t allow it. The Congressional Research Service said it. Every constitutional lawyer knows it. But that doesn’t matter, because the Regime doesn’t need laws—they’ve got vibes. All they need is the headline: ANTIFA = TERRORISTS. Cue the fear machine.

And the timing? Oh, what a coincidence. Right after Charlie Kirk takes a bullet, suddenly every left-wing protester is Public Enemy Number One. Because one deranged shooter = proof that “antifa” is an army of terrorists plotting in your neighborhood Starbucks. Never mind that Trump tried this stunt back in 2020 and even Bill Barr couldn’t make it stick. Doesn’t matter. It’s red meat for the base. And if it breaks the Constitution over its knee? Even better.

But wait, there’s more! While he’s branding political opponents “terrorists,” the same Regime is threatening to yank visas, revoke green cards, even denaturalize citizens for speech they don’t like. Didn’t clap for Charlie Kirk’s eulogy? Deport them. Retweeted the wrong meme? Cancel their citizenship. We’re not talking about action here—we’re talking about thought crime. They’re building the toolkit so the DOJ can say, “You celebrated, you sympathized, you criticized,” and suddenly you’re in a cell or on a plane back to wherever your great-grandparents came from.

That’s the real game. Not protecting Americans. Not stopping violence. It’s about fear and control. It’s about making sure that if you’re left-wing, immigrant, or—God forbid—both, you shut your mouth and keep your head down. Because if they can’t silence you with censorship, they’ll silence you with deportation. And if that doesn’t work? They’ll label you a terrorist, slap you with RICO, and call it justice.

This isn’t an administration anymore. This is a regime. And regimes don’t care about free speech, they care about obedience. They want the right to joke about killing homeless people on Fox News while jailing you for mocking Dear Leader’s spray tan. They want a world where the First Amendment is conditional: free speech for them, prison time for you.

And that, folks, is how democracies die—not with bombs in the streets, but with bureaucrats in suits turning dissent into terrorism. All because the president got booed at dinner.