⚖️ Legal Disclaimer

 This is a George Carlin-style rant. It contains adult language, brutal sarcasm, and very few surviving illusions. It is not here to make you feel good about policy. It’s here to drag it out into the daylight, pour gasoline on it, and light a cigarette just to throw the match.

🎤 "AI in Schools? We're Gonna Automate the Ignorance!"

 A George Carlin-Style Rant on the Latest Educational Gimmick

So the Trump administration signed an executive order to bring artificial intelligence into K-12 schools.

Because nothing says “we’re preparing kids for the future” like having a robot help them fail algebra faster.

You remember when school was about reading, writing, and not getting pantsed in gym class?

Now? It’s about “AI literacy.”

 Whatever the hell that means.

Apparently the kids need to learn how to ask smarter questions to machines than they can ask to their own teachers.

Why?

Because this country gave up on actual education years ago.

📉 Dumbing Down 2.0: Now With More Buzzwords!

 See, George called this decades ago.

 America doesn’t want an educated population.

“They want OBEDIENT workers.” “Smart enough to run the machines… dumb enough to not question why.”

And now?

We’ve outsourced the obedience to an algorithm.

 Give the kids tablets, give the teachers chatbots, slap a flag on the server farm and call it “innovation.”

Meanwhile, we’ve gutted art.

 We’ve gutted music.

 We’ve gutted civics, philosophy, ethics—hell, even recess is on the chopping block.

But AI?

That gets a task force.

 Because tech bros need a tax write-off, and Trump needs to pretend he understands anything invented after 1989.

🤖 The Real Agenda?

 Let’s not kid ourselves.

This isn’t about kids learning AI.

This is about:

• Selling software licenses to school districts that don’t even have working plumbing
• Surveilling students under the guise of “performance optimization”
• Offloading teaching to machines so you can fire the unionized human ones
• And training kids to obey prompts instead of learning how to think

This isn’t artificial intelligence.

 It’s manufactured obedience.

And it starts young.

Because if you can train a second-grader to trust the machine,

 by the time they’re 18, they won’t even notice when the machine starts grading their thoughts.

🧠 The AI Challenge: Brought to You by Distraction, Inc.

 There’s even a national “AI challenge” in the EO.

That’s cute.

You know what the real challenge is?

Paying teachers a living wage.

Fixing collapsing schools.

 Getting kids actual counselors.

 Maybe stop putting cops in hallways and start putting librarians back in the damn building.

But no—give ‘em AI.

 Because nothing solves childhood hunger like a machine that can summarize Of Mice and Men in 16 tokens or less.

🧨 Final Thought?

 This isn’t about giving kids tools.

It’s about giving the system cover.

Cover for underfunding.

 Cover for surveillance.

 Cover for the slow transformation of public education into obedience training for a tech-feudal future.

The only AI we should be worried about?

Authoritarian Indoctrination.

And they’re rolling it out with a ChromeBook and a smile.